Me: Are you my little monkey?
1yo: Oooh oooh ah ah! Nooooo!
Me: Are you my kitty?
1yo: Meow. Nooooo!
Me: Are you my puppy?
1yo (panting): Noooo!
Me: My dinosaur?
1yo: Rawr! Yes! RAWR!
3yo: Mommy! You're not dead!
Me: Nope! I am very much alive.
3yo: But just you wait!
Me: ...
3yo (singing, Frozen/Big Hero 6 Mashup): For the first time in foreeeverrrr, I am satisfied with myyy caaaaare!
Husband: Wait. Stop. What are you doing?
3yo: I'm streaming.
Husband: Mommy? Sweetheart? She started streaming on your PS4, all by herself. Are you okay with this?
Me: ...Why are you eating your sister's dinner?
3yo: I'm sharing hers with me!
Me: Are you having fun?
3yo: No, I'm having HUNGRY!
3yo: Woof! Woof!
Me: Are you a doggy?
3yo: I'm a changeling doggy! That means I'm a doggy that looks like a barking baby!
3yo: I missed your face.
Me: Awwww. That's so sweet! I missed you, too!
3yo: Let me try again! I'll kick it this time!
3yo (playing Elder Scrolls Online on my PS4): He wants a piece of me! I'm gonna give it to him!
3yo: Where's Daddy?
Me: I know, we traveled to Daddy, but he left Coldharbor while we were on the loading screen.
3yo: He's not in Coldharbor anymore? Oh! Is he in Warmharbor?
3yo: You need to put me in the car. I want you to take me to my cousins.
Me: You want to visit your cousins?
3yo: And celebrate them!
Me: The scale says you weigh 31.8 pounds.
3yo: Yay! How much to you weigh, Mommy?
Me: Guess.
3yo: Eight seventy one pounds!
Me: No, not that much.
3yo: Are you sure? Step on the scanner! Let's see!
3yo: Help me get to the living room.
Me: I will hold your hand while we walk there.
3yo: No! Carry me!
Me: You are perfectly capable of walking.
3yo: Nooooo! I have mosquito bites!
Me: Where's your nose?
1yo (pointing to nose): Nose!
Me: Where's your mouth?
1yo (pointing to mouth): Mouff!
Me: Where's your eyes?
1yo (pointing to self): Meeeeee!
3yo (watching Husband and I play Elder Scrolls Online): Kill him! Kill him! Kill him! Kill him Mommy!
Me: That's not very nice.
3yo: Kill him please?
Me (to husband): Maybe we need to play more co-op puzzle games instead?
3yo: Go away, bug! Find something else to play with!
Me: Are you... farting on me?
3yo: Not anymore!
Husband: That was not nice. You tripped up your little sister, on purpose.
3yo: No I didn't, Daddy. I tripped her down!
