2yo (happy, with feeling): You're awake!
Me: Yeah. Wonder who woke me up?
2yo (proudly): Meeee!
Stranger: How old are you?
2yo: I'm big enough!
2yo: I don't want to get dressed. I want to find Hiccup.
Me: Get your map. Hiccup told me to mark it.
2yo: That's a good idea!
*Runs off, and returns with a handful of plastic French Fries.*
Me (arranging them flat): Hiccup says your clothes are... here.
This actually worked.
2yo: I want to watch Hulk!
Me: You like the Hulk?
2yo: He's my best friend. I'm gonna go in the show and give him my milk! And he'll say, "Thank you, that was very nice!" I want to watch my friend.
Me: Where are we going?
2yo: To see my cousins!
Me: We're going to school.
2yo: I want to go to the beach!
Me: You and me both.
Me: What are you doing?
2yo (climbing over the edge of her bed, where it is high, rather than the side, where it is low): Getting out of my big girl bed.
Me: Why are you getting out that way?
2yo: Because it's better.
Me: You found your little sister.
2yo: Yes. I love her.
Me: I love her too. And I also love you.
2yo: And I love your nipples.
Me: You should try pretending to be a woman on the internet sometime.
Husband: No way.
Me: Afraid you won't survive?
Husband: Pretty much.
2yo (getting worked up about How to Train Your Dragon): They took Shattermaster! We have to take him back! They're going to save him! Just not yet.
