“…thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I assure you, I thank you.”
Crosby woke up as she heard James Cagney talking on screen. She found herself kneeling in front of the TV, Ernie and Sarah beside her. As Cagney continued on, telling the President that the country would be all right, the other two began to stir as well. They all looked away from each other as they stood and straightened their clothes, trying to figure out exactly why they were kneeling on the ground.
Sarah was the first to find her voice. “Well, that was a trip,” she said as she looked at her sister. “It’s all kind of fuzzy – I remember a beautiful woman on Johnny claiming to be God or something?”
Ernie nodded as he climbed back onto his barstool. “That’s about all I’ve got, too. She sure was a beauty, though, wasn’t she?”
Crosby’s head was throbbing like she’d been drinking all night, but she forced herself to focus through it. She remembered the woman, although not clearly. Long legs, a tight dress, an enormous hat, and a winking eye were the big ones, and her head hurt when she tried to recall more of it. “How did we even get started watching it?” she asked, then glanced up at the TV. Cagney was still there, watching a parade of soldiers singing. “And how did we get on the old movie channel?”
She picked up the remote and started skipping around channels. Most seemed completely normal – old movies and TV shows, infomercials, music videos and the like playing away. The major networks, though, were all “Experiencing Technical Difficulties” and requesting that they stand by. She stopped when she hit the last channel, which was Anchorage channel 2, still experiencing difficulties.
Ernie shrugged then said, “Who knows? And frankly, who cares? How about a drink?”
Crosby chuckled before moving behind the bar. She knelt, laughing again as she resumed the position she woke up in, and started moving things aside in the cabinet. She finally found what she was looking for – an oak box with a silver clasp and hinges. She stood up and turned away from the others then blew a thick layer of dust from the box. She flipped the clasp and opened the lid, revealing a cushioned red velvet interior cradling a bottle and a separate stopper. She removed both, setting the bottle down on the bar and the stopper next to it. “This was Dad’s,” she said to Sarah. “He said to save it for a special occasion where you and I could share it – I believe he was thinking wedding or birth of a kid, but those are looking pretty unlikely for me at least. Aged for 25 years in oak casks.”
Sarah simply walked behind the bar and grabbed three glasses, setting them down beside the bottle. Crosby broke the seal and opened the bottle, filling each glass with three fingers of caramel colored bourbon. She raised her glass, and the others followed suit. “To Dad, and to us,” she said, and the three drank.
“How dare you!” Crosby yelled at her sister.
Sarah’s eyes grew wide as she thought Crosby was going to hit her, until she and Ernie both broke out laughing. “OK, OK, you aren’t in love with Anastasia!”
“Of course I’m not in love with Anastasia, and I cannot believe you would say such a thing,” Crosby said with a false air of superiority.
“Oh, no,” Ernie said, his words slurring slightly, “not in love. I think lust would be the better term!” He giggled as he said it, and Sarah couldn’t help but laugh along.
Crosby tried to act offended again but broke down laughing before she could even get a word out. “OK, maybe I’m in lust with her. But did you see those legs?” Sarah just laughed harder, while Ernie nodded and threw back the rest of his whiskey.
The aged stuff was long gone, and they were halfway through a bottle of the cheap stuff with no signs of slowing down. Crosby steadied herself and poured another splash into her and Ernie’s glass, then topping off Sarah once she downed what was left in hers. As they had worked their way through the bourbon, they talked about what they had seen, piecing together a good chunk of the show between what each of them could remember. She knew there were still some gaps, but they at least had a reasonable understanding of her claims. “And being the supreme galactic deity or whatnot, she’s got to be good in bed, right?”
Ernie laughed hard enough that he stumbled off his stool, grabbing the bar to keep from collapsing to the floor. “It’s been my experience that the prettiest ones don’t do so much in that department, darlin’.”
This set both women off, and Sarah was barely able to choke out, “I take expec-. Eggsce-. Ecspec-. I’m offended!”
A blast of cold air cut the laughter short, and Crosby panicked as she realized the front door had swung open. She looked to the clock to make sure it was before the cutoff for selling alcohol and relaxed a little - the cold air brought her back enough that she could claim she wasn't drunk if those nutjobs from the cult decided to press things. She turned around to tell whomever it was to get out of her bar but stopped short when no one was there.
The door was still open, and it only took a few seconds before she thought to look down. When she did, she saw a line of very short men walking in. They were all dressed in rough canvas overalls, flannel shirts, and large work boots, and they were either carrying a metal hardhat or still wearing one. And every one of them had a full beard with traces of coal dust or dirt in it. Ernie had turned to look as well, but Sarah had somehow not noticed and was continuing to defend the pretty people of the world. Crosby reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder, causing her to turn and look. She attempted to whisper to Crosby, but it came out full volume, "Are those dwarfs?"
Crosby looked scandalized at her sister, and Ernie let out a soft chuckle before turning back to refill his glass. The first of the men through the door came up to them and said, "That's dwarves, not dwarfs, but yah, sure. Saw the lights on at the end of shift and figured we'd stop in."
By this point, several dozen 'dwarves' had filed in behind the first and the entryway was getting crowded. Another dwarf put his hand on the first one's shoulder and said, "Let me squeeze on past ya," as he tried to get between him and the tables.
The first dwarf said, "Ope, sorry!" as he moved out of the way. He looked back at Crosby and asked, "You're still serving, right? It's a cold one out there tonight and stiff drink would sure help us out."
Crosby nodded and said, "Yeah, we're open for another hour. Sit where you want and we'll be over in a second." As the dwarf nodded acknowledgement and headed for a table, Crosby moved back behind the bar. "Sarah, we've got customers. Pull yourself together and take their orders."
Sarah was attempting to fight through the whiskey haze but hadn't gotten there yet. "Crosby!" she whispered far too loudly. "There are dwarves from Minnesota here!"
"Sarah, just go take orders."
Sarah nodded and quickly turned away to head to the tables. She stumbled on her second step, then turned back around and grabbed a notepad from the bar. By this point, most of the tables were taken up by the dwarves, who had piled their metal helmets on another table. Crosby did a quick count and came up with 30 customers, more than had been here outside of when the lumberjacks came through in years. She watched as her sister went quickly from table to table and missed it when Ernie said something. "What was that, Ernie?"
"Just thinking about things. This has to be related to that Anastasia, right? A heck of a coincidence if it ain't."
"The only reason I'm not positive I'm hallucinating this is because you and Sarah are seeing it, too."
Ernie laughed at that. "I hear ya. Haven't tied one on like this in decades, but I'm glad for it. Can you imagine if we were sober right now?"
Crosby chuckled at that. Sarah had finished taking orders and was headed back to the bar. The notepad was blank, but she didn't hesitate to give the orders. "I had to tell them we have neither mead nor 'grog', so this became pretty simple. 27 glasses of whiskey with a beer back, and three hot toddies."
Crosby started lining up the glasses, grabbing a bottle of the house well whiskey to fill them. "Start the kettle up," she told Sarah as she did so, and Sarah went to the kitchen to get the water boiling. By the time she got back, the whiskeys were full and she was working on the beer. Sarah filled a tray with as much as she could carry and delivered them, coming back to refill the tray once it was done. By the time she had delivered the whiskeys and beer, the kettle was whistling at them.
Sarah grabbed the kettle and brought it out, and Crosby poured the water. As she mixed in the honey and lemon, Sarah leaned in and whispered - quietly this time. "They seem friendly. And just so you know, the ones with just the silky looking sideburns and clear chins are women. I think."
Crosby finished mixing the drinks and told Sarah she'd take them over. She dropped the drinks off with the three people who didn't have beer and whiskey, then grabbed a chair and moved it near the one who had first spoken when they came in. "Mind if I join you for a bit?" she asked.
"Oh, for sure," he said, and Crosby pulled up to the table. The four dwarves sitting there all raised their glasses in her direction and said "Skol!" all together. They each threw the entire glass of whiskey back nearly in unison then chased it with the beer. The first dwarf set down his mug as he wiped the foam from his mouth, then looked Crosby over. "Thanks for havin' us in your place, miss. Like I said, it's a cold one out there, and it helps to get out of the camp and into some warm on a night like this. Names Nolan, and that's Declan, Rhett, and Jameson," he said as he pointed around the table.
"Crosby," she replied, and held out her hand to shake. Nolan looked unsure, although he put his hand out to match hers. She took it and gave him a firm shake, then held her hand out to Declan. The others quickly caught on and returned the handshakes. "That's my sister, Sarah, and the man drinking at the bar is Ernie."
"Would've guessed you as sisters, although you clearly got the looks in the family, eh?" He said, waggling his eyebrows. The others at the table nodded along, freaking Crosby out just a bit. "It's a nice little place you've got here. Whiskey's kind of weak though - got anything with a bit more kick?"
"I think there's some 101 proof back there, that would be a little stronger."
"Well, let's try some of that! And if it's not puttin' you out, why don't you get Ernie and your sis to come on over and join us, too? We'll be mining in the area for the next while, so if we remain welcome in the bar, it'd be good to know who we're drinking with."
Crosby was nonplussed and took the opportunity to head back to the bar for more whiskey. Did he say they would be here for a while and would be regulars? she thought as she walked. 30 regulars? Hell, give me 30 regulars for a year and I could save up enough to get out. As she got to the bar, Sarah and Ernie both leaned in with curious expressions, wanting to know what was going on. She dug under the bar and found an old bottle of Wild Turkey 101, then looked for the case it came from.
Sarah saw what she was doing, and told her, "The rest of them are in the office - I had to move them to make room."
Crosby figured she'd grab them if she needed them, but for now just this bottle would be a place to start. "Come on," she told them both. "Nolan over there wants to meet the people they'll be drinking with while they're mining nearby."
Sarah's eyes grew wide, recognizing what having an influx of customers for a while would do. Ernie simply saw the bottle of Wild Turkey and got off his stool to toddle over to the dwarves. Sarah and Crosby were on his heels as they arrived at Nolan's table, the bottle in Crosby's hand. Ernie grabbed a chair and found some space at the next table, while Sarah hovered near Crosby. Crosby filled the glasses at the table from the bottle, and Nolan lifted his to inhale the aroma deeply. "None for you, Miss?"
"Please, call me Crosby. I'm skirting the line on the drinking laws already, so I'll have to pass."
"We won't tell if you won't!" Declan said with a laugh, the others joining in.
Ernie called out from his table, "I'm not working, so how about some over here?" The dwarves with him agreed, and all of them joined in, calling for sharing out the whiskey. Crosby started filling glasses, running out before she could get to everyone and needing to retrieve more bottles from the back. She was surprised everyone waited on her to fill all the glasses before doing more that breathing in the fumes, but they seemed to want to drink together. Once all of the glasses were full, the dwarves plus Ernie raised them in the direction of Crosby and Sarah. Nolan toasted for the group, "To the sisters and their bar, may they last forever!" The other dwarves all slapped their tables in response, then polished off their drinks. "Not bad," Nolan said, "but still a touch weak. You should stock some dwarvish liquor - that'll put some hair on your cheeks."
Crosby mumbled something about looking into it, her equilibrium thoroughly thrown off by this point. The dwarves began talking loudly among themselves, comfortable in the bar. Beer and whiskey was being finished off at every table and calls for more were ringing out. Ernie fit in quickly, explaining the concept of hockey to the dwarves at his table to attentive listeners, and Sarah began to run back and forth to the bar in a continuous loop taking full glasses one way and empties the other. Crosby drank in the feeling of a full house, before an unwelcome thought intruded - how are they going to pay for this?
"...and the sun never shines. It's dark as a dungeon way down in the mines."
Crosby swallowed hard as the dwarves finished their song and saw that Ernie was wiping a tear away. She knew the song well enough but had never felt it the way the dwarves did. Their deep voices carried the weight of the mines, and for the first time she felt how they called to the miners even through the dark and damp. Ernie must have felt the call, too, and the dwarves stoked the fire.
One of the dwarves sitting next to Ernie, a woman named Harper with silky strawberry blond sideburns and moustache but a clear chin, rested a hand on his shoulder and said, "Uff da, Ernie." Ernie squeezed her hand in return then straightened up and cleared his throat.
Crosby looked up at the clock, seeing that it was well past her normal closing time. But seeing how normal closing time had long become whenever Ernie decided he'd had enough and was heading home, maybe it wasn't. Still a few hours before she would legally have to shut down and she'd sobered up enough to be within bounds, so she wasn't too worried about it, but it had been a long day and she was exhausted. And to top it off, she still wasn't sure if she was getting paid for all of this.
Seeing that the tables were cluttered with empty mugs, she looked around for Sarah. Little sis was curled up on a chair by the helmet table, her head resting on a clear spot as she slept. Crosby stifled a yawn as she got up and began to clear the empties away. She asked if anyone was ready for another round and Declan's eyes brightened before Nolan raised a hand. "I think we've had enough for the night - best to clear out so Miss Crosby can get her sister tucked away."
The other dwarves grumbled a bit, but Crosby could tell that they were mostly ready to sleep, too. As she gathered up the mugs and glasses, the various dwarves sifted through the helmets to find their own. As they found their helmets they headed for the door, each one shaking hands with both Ernie and Crosby as they went. When most of them had made it out, leaving just Nolan and Declan behind, Nolan stood up and stretched. "Well, miss, it was a pleasure here tonight. Hoping we weren't too much trouble for ya, and might be welcome back again?"
Crosby smiled tiredly. "Of course, Nolan. Any time. May take a bit of time to restock the Wild Turkey, though." She breathed deeply, ready to bring up the bill which had hit $5400 for the group.
Nolan spoke before she could continue. "Like I said, miss, you should talk to some of the dwarves about getting some better liquor in here. Let's settle up the bill for tonight, and if you want I'll send someone out tomorrow to work out some trade in liquor."
Crosby let go of the tension she'd been holding since she saw all of the premium liquor she had consumed without a credit card to guarantee it. "I'd love that, and can't wait to try it out myself." Declan barked out a laugh at that, and Nolan smiled.
"I look forward to seeing that, miss," he said, and Crosby reconsidered whether she should try it or not. "What do we owe ya?"
"$5400 total for the night," she said. When she saw the look on his face, she started to worry again and said, "We can work out a discount for the group if we need to."
Nolan shook his head and held up a hand. "No need for that, miss. Just not sure how much a dollar works out to." He opened what looked to be a leather fanny pack and started to pull coins out of it, stacking them on the table. The first pile he made were coppery and about an inch and a half wide. He stacked them until they were as tall as they were wide, 12 in total. Next he pulled some out that were slightly smaller around and made of silver, again stacking them 12 high. A stack of golden coins was next, slightly smaller around again, still 12 high. Crosby stared at the stacks, dumbfounded. She noticed that the coins each had what looked like a different dwarf's face on them, and were ridged around the edges in what she knew would be a method to prevent shaving. She was far from an expert in precious metals, but this was what remained of a mining town so she at least knew some basics. If that was pure gold, that stack had to be at least a pound of gold, and last she heard gold was selling for thousands an ounce. That stack would buy a used car.
"Is this enough?" Nolan asked after Crosby spent a dozen long seconds just staring at the stack.
Crosby snapped out of it and focused back on Nolan. "That's -" she started, her voice cracking. She started again, keeping more in control. "That's too much, Nolan. I'm not sure how the exchange rates will work out, but that's far too much."
"Well, then," Nolan said with a smile, "seems like we must be rich by your standards." He stood up and Declan handed him his helmet. "How about we consider the excess a thanks for your hospitality, and a hand in getting some proper dwarvish liquor in here, yah?"
Crosby could only nod. Nolan stuck his hand out and Crosby shook on autopilot. "I'll send Mabel out in the morning to work out the liquor arrangements. She's my cousin, sure, but she's got the best stuff out there and will treat ya fairly. Thanks again for your hospitality." Nolan and Declan turned and headed out the door. As it closed behind them, Crosby sat down in the chair and looked over the stack of coins. She picked up one of the gold coins, feeling its heft. She ran her finger over the well-defined ridges on the edge, then traced the image of a dwarf with a full beard and long curly hair wearing a headband of some sort. She flipped the coin over and saw it was inscribed with a symbol she had never seen before but reminded her of the pop culture understanding of Viking runes.
She jerked in the seat when she heard Ernie clear his throat behind her. "Did he cover my bill in all that?" he asked, and Crosby barked out a laugh.
"You're covered, Ern. You're covered for a good long while."
