Xania tried to pull back before she remembered that she couldn’t move. She blinked. Tears streamed down her face. She was glad the door was between them.

“Sweet gods! What was that?” Derrex asked.

“I don’t know, but I had more visions,” she said.

“Visions? I thought you just used me as a punching bag,” he said.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

She realized then that the door had only melted up around her more.

“And now we have another problem,” he stated.

“What now?” she asked.

“My hands are stuck too,” he replied.

“What do we do now?” she asked.

“I’m out of ideas,” he said.

Xania cursed.

“I think we're stuck until someone comes to check on us,” he stated.

“When will that be?” she asked.

“Sometime after I miss the meeting today,” he said.

Xania groaned.

“Unless you have a better plan,” he said.

“Unfortunately, I don’t,” she said.

Hours later, a loud thumping on the apartment’s front door startled both Xania and Derrex.

She had drifted into sleep, her body had sagged and the wood had cut into her arms. Pins stabbed at her hands and fingers now that she sat up right again. At least she had the stool. Derrex was over there without one. It seemed forever that they had been extensions of the door, but there was no real way for her to tell.

“We’re in here!” Derrex hollered, happy that someone had arrived.

“Come in!” Xania yelled.

The front door opened and then closed.

“Hello?” Joban called.

“In here!” Derrex yelled.

Joban stepped into the living room and  looked at the pair in the door. Derrex was in clear view. Xania was mostly behind the door. One foot and part of her hands could be seen.

He smiled and said, “Seems things have been exciting for you two as well.”

“Joban, can you do anything?” Derrex asked.

Xania fidgeted, unable to see past the door and getting tired of it. Not the best view.

Joban looked them over. One side, then the other. Xania eyed him closely as he inspected her side of things. Every time he looked at her, he glanced away quickly. His hands avoided her. That part she understood. But why did his eyes flick from her’s? Sweat crept up on his brow.

“I’ll assume this is her doing,” Joban stated, stroking the twisted wood.

“Yes,” they both answered.

“And you tried to channel her,” Joban added.

Joban leaned and looked at Derrex’s side of the door.

“That’s what happened over here?” Joban asked.

He raised an eyebrow at Derrex.

“Yes,” Derrex answered with a light blush.

Joban nodded.

“So can you fix it or not?” Xania asked.

“I don’t know,” Joban said with a shrug, still not making eye contact.

“I am beginning to hate hearing that,” Xania said.

Joban tipped his head to one side and tapped his fingers to his lips.

“Can you channel her?” Derrex asked.

Derrex shifted his weight from one foot to the other for the countless time. Standing meant hunching over. Squatting was killing his thighs. Sitting on his butt made the wood tear into his arms.

“I’m not sure,” Joban said.

Drumming the fingers of one hand on his mouth, he ran the fingers of the other hand along the door.

“You’ve channeled plenty of new mages. Why not her?” Derrex asked.

Tipping his head back, he tried to stretch out his shoulders.

“This bird has entirely different feathers,” Joban said.

 Joban rubbed his fingers together.

“Shall we try something different?” he asked.

“What?” they both asked.

“I want you to channel her again,” he said.

“Because that went so well the first time,” Derrex said.

“I think that you two were being rather pushy with each other. I think you could take a different approach,” he explained.

They were silent for a while.

“What do I do?” Xania asked.

“Are you serious?” Derrex asked.

“I’m tired of being in this fucking door,” Xania said.

Derrex laughed.

“Yeah, I’m about ready to chop off my arms,” he said.

“I think this is a better idea,” Joban said.

Derrex nodded.

 Xania took a deep breath and held it a moment. Breathing it out in a slow shudder, she calmed herself. She wondered what they would do if they got trapped in the door further. Joban stood so that he could see both of them. For a while, he said nothing. He put one hand on each side of the wood.

“I want both of you to follow my directions,” he said.

“Alright,” Xania said.

Derrex just nodded.

“Imagine you are merging, becoming a single person,” he said.

He slid his hands across the wood so that a single finger tip touched each of their arms. Xania remembered Derrex’s lips brushing across her ear as he whispered to her in the indoor market. She couldn’t help imagining him kissing her rather than whispering.

“Not what I had in mind, but that will do,” Joban said. He was finally looking at her with a small smile.

Could Derrex see what was going on in her head? She blushed at the idea of it. Bad enough that Joban was spying in her head. It felt like she was undressing in front of an opened window.

“Please, focus,” Joban said.

Xania shifted her thoughts back to the previous images. It didn’t matter if Derrex could see or not. He already had seen the previous thought so there wasn’t much point in trying to change tack now.

A sudden rush pushed her forward and the door was gone. They were kneeling on the floor, hands clasped together.

“Imagine giving him your power. It’s a bright liquid that you keep in a jar, he would like some of it,” Joban said.

Joban withdrew his finger tips, leaving them alone in this strange place.

Awkward, she stared at him. Derrex pulled her into an embrace. His lips were close to her’s, but they didn’t kiss. Reaching out into nothing, she grasped an elegant bottle. Glowing liquid sloshed against the glass. She poured it carefully into his mouth, but spilled some down his cheek and neck. She tossed the bottle aside and rubbed the liquid into his skin. She could feel her energy flowing out of her hands and into his body, the fluid was only a medium. He shuddered and sighed.

“Now remember the door,” Joban said.

 The door appeared again, separating them. The wood spun up and around her arms as if it had grown there, just as it had previously been.

“The wood can be liquid. Let it become a liquid,” Joban said.

Xania stared at the lines of the wood. They stubbornly stared back at her; solid, hard lines. Derrex squeezed her fingers and she felt focus come into her mind. The grain seeped up fluid that trickled along the drawn out paths, softening the wood as it moved over it. It traveled the spiral course up her arms, and then dripped off when reaching the end of its course. Slowly, the wood flowed up her arms and off onto the floor. She pulled back her hands and wiggled her fingers.

“Now remember Derrex and let the wood around his hands also turn to water,” Joban said.

Xania stood and stepped around the door, bringing her out of the bedroom and into the living room, where Derrex was trapped. She traced a finger along a groove in the wood and it turned to water under her caress. Touching the wood again, she pushed on it. It splashed out and away from Derrex, showering in small chips already solid again.

“Now pull back. Imagine taking your power back from him,” Joban said.

Xania looked at Derrex, holding his face in her hands. Trembling, she could feel a tight line between them. It hurt, pulling at her.

“Take your power back,” Joban repeated.

She leaned down until their lips almost touched. Breathing in deeply, she could see the liquid pulling up out of him and returning from him. But she knew that the trace that she had rubbed into his skin would remain. A mark of her would stain him.

“Now open your eyes and view your handiwork,” Joban said.

She opened her eyes and was happy to find her hands freed in her lap. Derrex waved his free hands at her through a hole in the door. A round plank of wood lay on the floor at her feet and chips of wood were scattered as if after an explosion.

“It worked!” she said.

She jumped up and impulsively hugged Joban. He stiffened. But nothing came.

“Thank you!”

He laughed.

“It was your magic,” he stated.

“But I can’t control it like that,” she declared.

She pointed at the misshaped door.

“You’ll learn,” Joban stated.

Joban pulled away from her, again avoiding her eyes. Derrex came around the door smiling and rubbing his wrists. Could she really learn? Did she want to? That meant staying here. Everything seemed to urge her to leave. This wasn’t where she was supposed to be. That was certain. She had no idea where she was supposed to be going, but she knew this was not the right place. And it was not just the voices. It was more than that. Wasn’t it?

“Now that the two of you are no longer busy, I’ll address the business I came here for,” Joban said.

Xania’s stomach tightened. Bile crept up in her throat.

Derrex nodded.

“Can we sit?” Derrex asked.

He headed towards the couch without waiting for a response.

“Oh, yes. Of course,” Joban replied, gesturing for the two of them to go to the living room.

Xania passed through the living room and headed to the bathroom. Guys might be able to go days without pissing but the ladies sure can’t. Especially if said guys are regularly serving tasty cups of coffee. Large cups of coffee. While sitting in the bathroom, she took the time to consider all the terrible things that Joban could be here to tell her and how she could respond to them without crying or yelling at him. Once she thought she had all her options covered, she flushed and washed her hands.

Upon her arrival in the living room, there was a steaming cup of coffee along with a little plate of a strange crumbly bread thing. Derrex was next to go to the bathroom, leaving Joban and her in a weird awkward moment of silent polite conversation avoidance eating and drinking cycles. Sip. Nibble. Sip. Don’t look at each other. She was glad when he returned, but only for a moment. Because then she realized that the conversation would be happening.

Joban cleared his throat and wiped crumbs from his lap.

“Can I smoke?” Xania blurted.

Damn she needed a cigarette. Did anyone even have any?

“Do you have any?” Derrex asked.

“No,” Xania replied.

Now that she thought of them, the craving was hitting her hard. Chewing the inside of her lip and thinking of what she had taken from her apartment. Then realizing that she’d left all of that with the woman that had done her makeover. There was nothing from her old life. Nothing. It was all gone. She was gone.

Deleted. A second time.

Something brushed against her mind like a warm spring breeze, calm and familiar. It whispered to her, "Come home. It's time. We need you." 

"No," She thought. "I am not needed. I am not wanted."

Initiating command sequence 83645. Beep.

Xania covered her hand with her mouth to try to stop the sob, but it kicked out of her, bending her over. Hot tears poured out and she hung her head between her knees choking for air. Derrex tried to take her into his arms, but she flailed out at him. Slapping, scratching and even lashing out with a kick. Scuttling across the couch, she hit the edge and fell off to the floor. Wrapping herself up into the smallest possible ball, she rocked and wept.

Deleted. Just like that. Everything that she was.

Something moved inside her mind, trying to make its way inside.

Initiating command sequence 98365. Beep. Beep.

“Why?” she cried.

She pulled hard on a braid. The pain reminded her that she was real. Imagination doesn’t feel pain. Dead people don’t feel pain. She pushed against the presence in her mind that was already too full, not wanting anything else asked of her.

“I am here,” she whispered. She clutched at her chest, pulling her shirt tighter against her skin.

Purge engage. Beep. Defensive protocols initiated. Beep. Beep.

Derrex squatted down in front of her, wincing when his legs spasmed.

“I see you,” he whispered back.

She looked at him.

“I see you,” he said again.

Burying her face in her folded arms, she asked “Why does the world want to delete me?”

“It’s frightened,” he answered.

She whipped up her head and yelled “What have I done?”

He said nothing.

“I was a fucking child! I did nothing but what I was told. The picture of obedience. I just want to live in a little corner of the world and be a normal person!” she screamed.

"Verdant," the voice in her head whispered. Gently pulling at her, demanding of her.

“You are Aelorian,” Derrex whispered.

“Fuck you!” she yelled.

She slapped him and inarticulately screamed. Getting up to her feet, she kicked the couch, grabbed a pillow and threw it. Rage boiled up. What right did they have? Derrex stood, but said nothing. Joban jumped to his feet and scurried back to a corner.

Beep. Threat purged. Beep. Beep. 

Energy surged in. Her eyes flashed red. She bared her teeth and growled. Punching a wall, she broke through the wood.

A strange darkness swept over her mind. "Come," it commanded her. The voice vibrating in her skull.

“I didn’t choose this!” she yelled.

“None of us choose to be what we are,” Derrex whispered.

Whirling, she stopped and glared at him. Heaving breaths. Clenched fists. Hunched shoulders. Moving her weight from one foot to the other. She could see how his skull would crumble beneath her hand.

“We are born and from there we must choose what we will be,” he said.

She growled. At first she wanted to accuse him of not understanding what suffering was. But then she remembered. The little boy beaten in the street. His father shot in a back alley. And his wife. So many that he’d loved had been cut down. Their deaths painted in his mind forever.

Xania's heart pounded as the beeps echoed, mechanical and rhythmic, reverberating within her skull. It felt like a countdown, tightening every nerve. She stumbled back, fists clenched, knuckles white. The voice, mechanical and relentless, continued in her mind:

Accessing primary drive. Scan protocol. Processing. Beep.

"No," she whispered, barely able to hear herself over the churning fury inside. Her vision blurred with tears as the raw edge of panic and helplessness shredded through her, tearing down her attempts at control. The voice in her mind was no longer a whisper; it was suffocating cacophany, a cold, metallic presence insisting on obedience. She gripped her braid harder, the pain reminding her she was still in control—she was still herself.

Derrex, maintaining a safe distance, caught her eye. His face softened, a mixture of pain and empathy. He took a careful step closer. "Xania, listen to me. I see you. I’m still here. You’re still here."

Something shifted within her, the metal voice stuttering as she anchored herself in his words, his presence. Her breathing slowed, though she still shook, fighting to cling to the present, her identity.

Derrex raised his hands, voice gentle but strong. “Look at me, Xania. Don’t fight it alone. You’re not alone anymore.”

Her sobs softened, and she could feel a small glimmer of herself returning, breaking through the storm in her mind. The whisper faded, replaced by the warmth of her own heartbeat. She took a shuddering breath and reached for Derrex’s hand, grounding herself, one heartbeat at a time.

Beep. Cancel command sequence 98365. Beep.

Tears welled up again. Her body sagged.

Beep. Cancel command sequence 83645. Beep.

“Beep,” she whispered.

He held her and they cried. Both grateful that there were no more visions.