Heading downstairs with his trusted cross at the side and Morgan, who was more than happy to lead him to where the kitchen is, the two entered a different room with a wooden table in the center where five chairs are surrounding it, a lit fireplace to the far right, and the ingredients at the counter near the wall with a drawer to store more items.
Windows were located at the front and back of the building to view outside of it. Light came through, allowing a pleasant warmth to enter inside as the sight of blue skies and green grass made Seth appreciate the environment more after his breathing slowed down.
It brought back memories of the peaceful life he used to have, and all of a sudden, he missed it deeply, for everything was so simple back in those days when he lived with the priest—eating and sleeping as if they were actual family. It was a pleasant reminder that his life wasn't always cruel to him and that there were still people who cared about him.
Smiling to himself, he continued quietly following her from behind as they went to the drawers and waited, where she started to pull out a knife from the second drawer, which she would use to cut all sorts of food that would soon be placed on top of the kitchen cabinet.
"Would you please take out the tuna fish from the second row from the top shelf on my left?" The woman instructed kindly, pointing out where to find those items. "Once you get them, hand them to me, sweetie," she told him of what was expected of him.
"Oh, um, okay!" The boy obeyed without any objection, proceeding to the place that was mentioned, opening it wide enough to reach his arms in, pulling out preserved fish covered with salt and ice for preservation purposes, "here," and handing the said fish over to her as she graciously accepted it.
"Thank you," her smile caused him to blush at being complimented once more. His face heated up from embarrassment. "Now that's over with," Morgan announced while she glanced at the boy, who is still recovering from the intense red. "Could you get lettuce and eight pieces of bread in the bottom drawer of the left shelf?" Asking for assistance with this chore.
Feeling honored to help, the young boy went back to the cabinets and said, "Okay," answering with no hesitation whatsoever, "let's see..." Opening the bottom drawer, he saw romaine lettuce tucked together and a group of bread in its right, allowing him to take out individuality before closing it.
"Here you go," handing them over to the woman who received them without issue. She proceeded to cut the lettuce into small pieces after having cut the tuna into fine paste with her knife; it seems that they will be having tuna and salad for breakfast, which he won't mind.
Food is food, regardless of its taste, appearance, and smell. Anything edible will do. No matter how repulsive it is, it's better to eat than starve, in his opinion. Because at that point, it is more about surviving than dying from hunger. He came from someone who had to survive years of scavenging from dumpsters and trash to avoid starving in the streets.
"Uh, are there more things I need to get?" Seth inquired, wanting to make sure if there is anything else that needs to be done and needing to be useful in return for the kindness she showed him, as he doesn't want to become useless in her eyes, just as Billy has always reminded him of being.
A nerdy and sniveling weakling who has to rely on others to solve his own issues or problems that are out of his control. Someone who needed to fight his own battles rather than using others as a form of escapism from the troubles that were being forced on him
And Billy is right on that assumption; he needs to grow a backbone in order to grow into a well-adjusted and stable man with confidence in himself. However, he can't ignore the fact that his timid nature will affect the way people react to him or view him.
Its very unfortunate that his shyness prevents the ambitions he yearns to achieve from becoming stronger. One step forward leads to many steps backward, for this is the harsh reality that he will eventually have to deal with. He won't be able to avoid it forever, and soon, God won't be there to help him.
"Is something the matter?"
Morgan's voice broke through his train of thoughts like a sharp knife. "Huh?" Gaining his attention back to reality, he asks, "Um, is there something else you need?" Seth was questioned in hopes of proving his usefulness to her while sweat profusely fell from his forehead.
Feeling awkward and weird, he saw her turn and kneel down to his level while leaving the knife on the surface of the kitchen cabinet. Her hands were placed on the boy's shoulders in deep concern for the strange behavior he showed. "Seth, are you feeling alright?" The kind witch asked while frowning a little, "You're acting rather strangely all of a sudden; is something wrong?"
Shame, disgust, and guilt about himself were what the young boy was currently experiencing as he stared at the ground below him. It is no wonder Billy gets annoyed at him for being a coward and having to depend on others for basic necessities in life.
He's a weirdo and freak; why does he occupy himself with friends if he himself is incapable of doing what they can? How could he ever relate to normal people when he is clearly the opposite of them? It makes no sense for someone to remain acquainted with him, for he doesn't deserve any of this.
"I...um..." He was trying to say what was on his mind, but the words didn't flow out as smoothly as he hoped. The words felt heavy on his tongue, causing him to hesitate if he should reveal the truth. His uncertainty brought further concern for the woman: "Is..." Struggling more and more as the shame intensified.
"Seth, it's okay; you can tell me." Morgan cooed in a motherly tone that would make anyone want to cry if they had one: "If there's anything I can do to help, you can always tell me, and I will gladly listen to you," smiling to reassure her she is telling the truth.
Slowly, tears begin to leak out of his eyes again, falling down from his chin. "I want to be useful. I want to be useful." I repeated those words until they were blurred out by the crying. His cries weren't loud or obnoxious, but soft and gentle, with whimpers that pierced the atmosphere.
"Your useful," Morgan quickly responded in an instant. "You are a very good boy; you have a big heart and a kind soul," comforting him in every way possible. "Do not beat yourself over such silly things, for you are a very wonderful child to me; you should know that already," the witch reassured the boy with pride in her voice.
She patted his head again to reassure him that everything would be fine. "I know it sounds difficult to believe, but you need to stop being so disheartening to yourself," she told, telling him to be positive despite the struggles, "even the smallest of things that you do, like bringing a plate or even saying hello, is meaningful," and giving him reasons why he should cheer up.
Fiddling his crucifix in nervousness, he was conflicted with the whole ordeal: "Am I really worth it, Morgan?" Seth inquired in a small voice, "I mean, do I deserve to be here at this moment?" His question caught her off guard: "I don't know what to do or even where to start; how could I ever be useful and deserving like everyone else?"
The sudden embrace caught him completely by surprise. The hug was warm and gentle, like that of a mother. "There there, it's going to be fine, sweetie." Her voice was soothing to the ears, reminiscing of Muriel, who had shown the same motherly love for him. "Be more kind to yourself," the witch advised with honesty in her words.
Unable to comprehend what was going on anymore, he hugged back and buried his head in her chest as more tears spilled from his eyes. "Kind to myself?" Questioning the words spoken by the sorceress, "What do you mean by that, Morgan?" Not understanding the meaning of her message.
Chuckling in amusement, she let go of their embrace as she stood up with a smile while still looking down at him in a display of maternal affection. "It means that you should be more understanding and nice to yourself, Seth, as well as learn from your mistakes and try your hardest to improve yourself," informing the boy of her intention behind her said message.
Realization hit him like track as he took a step backward, "Oh..." looking down in contemplation of everything that has transpired between them, causing him to reflect on everything that has happened so far and what has led him to this moment of the conversation.
It is true what others have said; he is rather kind to others, but never to himself. That is something Seth had never thought of or bothered to do until now, since this revelation was revealed to him by Morgan, who had really helped him out immensely through their talk.
But can he be kind to himself even with all these negative thoughts regarding his own existence as a whole? That is the hardest part of his inner struggle—to learn to love and accept who he is as a person, especially the parts of himself that are different or flawed, and not only that, but also to respect himself for what he cannot do and vice versa.
"I... don't know," was the answer he gave to the sorceress, "I'm not sure if I could succeed in doing that," being honest about his doubts about even having to change his attitude to self-love, "I am not sure what else to say," admitting his lack of direction in finding a proper response to the challenge that he had been given.
She frowned at this answer; her disappointment was apparent on her face but then changed into a sad smile afterwards. "Try your best, remember?" Reminding him to persist, "the most important thing to do is to have faith that everything will turn out fine and try your hardest to achieve that goal," Morgan said without skipping a beat of her explanation.
Faith is what gives people hope of having a future, of being successful, and of doing things they never believed were possible. It is a powerful tool that not only helps others move forward but also gives them a reason to continue the battle that lies ahead and keep going in spite of whatever hardships await.
Looking at his right hand, clenching the golden cross tightly, he sighed tiredly, "I will try again," agreeing with this statement, "I'll keep trying and trying until I get it right," giving himself the encouragement needed to make the promise a reality.
Morgan smiled happily, "That is the spirit, sweetie," responding in an enthusiastic manner towards his answer, "Why don't you go outside and get some fresh air? I'll call you when breakfast is ready," she told him, telling him what he should do for the time being: "You deserve a good break."
Wiping his eyes from the dried tears, Seth nodded silently with understanding of his task: "Thank you for everything," blushing lightly, feeling grateful for the woman's support, "and I'm sorry if I was a bother to you; I really am." Apologizing for causing a scene, hoping she won't hold a grudge against him.
Morgan simply shook her head and smiled kindly. "Think nothing of it," she said, waving her hand to dismiss the apology. "You did nothing wrong, so please, just don't be so hard on yourself often and accept the things that you cannot change," she explained while gesturing for him to go outside.
"I will!"
