I sat up watching the sunrise, taking in the pastel hues that shot across the sky, but unable to enjoy them. A dark feeling twisted in my gut - the reason I was up early enough to watch the sunrise. I’d woken from a nightmare, though the memory of it had slipped through my fingers like so much water before I could grasp it. Unable to shake the black feeling tugging at the edge of my awareness, I’d slipped outside in the hopes I’d find peace in nature. I turned my attention back to the sight before me. The light sparkled off the small lake and I smiled, appreciating again how beautiful this land was. There was an ocean of trees behind me stretching towards the sky and a cool breeze pulled at the long, straight strands of my black hair. I loved it here, in Washington State, where the people were few and far between and wilderness stretched out endlessly before me. It was peaceful. Breathtaking. I closed my eyes, breathing in the scents around me and appreciating the quiet. It was so still this early in the morning, with naught but the gentle lapping of the water on the shore and a light breeze swaying the branches of the trees to break the silence. I could almost forget why I was out here in the first place.

The sound of footfalls broke my meditation and I glanced over my shoulder to see who was coming. My sister, Jesse, waved at me and made her way slowly through the weeds and onto the dock. She sat down beside me, her gaze staring out over the lake. I studied my sister, taking in the mess of curls she had tied to the top of her head in a bun, the slight bags under her dark brown eyes, the light blue v-neck she wore, and the matching pajama pants. As always, I had the eerie feeling of looking in a mirror, but it being slightly wrong somehow. My sister and I were identical twins, exact matches in everything, down to our widow’s peak and the freckle on the left side of our necks. While we shared the same thick, curly, inky black hair, and the same large eyes, and the same light, bronze skin tone… we wore those looks in two completely different ways. 

My sister was far more casual than I was, less caught up in vanity, and generally not at all concerned with her appearance or what people thought of her. Her shoulder-length curls were always pulled up in a bun or ponytail, she almost always had on a tank top, a t-shirt, or a hoodie and sweats or leggings. I, on the other hand, always had my hair straightened down to my waist, usually some kind of makeup (though I didn’t this early in the morning), and I didn’t go anywhere without making sure my appearance was just so. I loved the way I looked and my style, but I also appreciated the natural beauty of my sister and how she was beautiful simply because of how at peace with herself she was and how little she cared to try and impress anyone. 

She pulled her gaze from the lake and looked at me. “Why are you staring at me?” She laughed, nudging me. 

“Just amazed you can leave the house looking like that… someone could see you!” 

“Shut up.” She shook her head, grinning. “You’re such an asshole. If I look like shit that means you do, too!”

“Psh, I could never look like shit. I’m a goddess.” I tilted my chin up and shook back my hair, putting on airs like I was someone important and fancy.

“Right. I could definitely see that, yep.” She sounded dead serious and if I didn’t know her I might think she meant it, but I knew her well enough to recognize when she was making fun of me. 

I slapped her arm, shaking my head. “You bitch.” 

She burst out laughing, ducking her head. We lapsed into comfortable silence after that, both of us appreciating the beauty around us. After a few moments of quiet, she poked me in the leg. 

“What are you doing out here so early anyway? It’s not like you to be up before noon.”

I shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep. Woke up from a nightmare. Just wanted to get out of the house for a minute.” She didn’t say anything else, likely sensing I didn’t want to talk about it, and instead wrapped an arm around my shoulders and leaned against me. 

“I just have a bad feeling is all,” I said at last. I sighed, shaking myself and sitting up straighter. “I’m sure it’s just spill-over from the nightmare.” I turned to my sister, who pulled away from me to look me in the face and grinned. “Come on, let’s go find something to do. I don’t wanna sit here anymore.” 

She studied me for a moment longer and then nodded, a smile spreading across her face as well. “Alright then. What do you want to do?” Hmm, what did I want to do? 

“We cooould go for a drive, or we could go shopping, or we could go shoot pool…. I don’t know… what do you think?” 

She tilted her head, thinking before excitement lit her face. “I wanna kick your ass at pool, of course.” She jumped to her feet and held a hand out to me. I rolled my eyes and let her pull me to my feet. 

“Please. I never lose at pool.” 

“You’re awfully cocky this morning." She laughed as we walked back to the house. 

An hour later found us pulling into the driveway of The Mansion, the home of the pack alpha, Medina, and his family as well as a few others of the pack who didn’t have families of their own. It was on a private plot of land where we could run free on the full moon without having to worry about detection. Jesse put her car in park, a grey, and black 1970 Chevelle 454 SS, and we climbed out. I looked over the mansion. It was painted a dark blue with white pillars holding up the second story balcony. A wrap-around porch surrounded the entire first floor of the house. It had light blue shutters and a light blue front door with beautiful stained glass set into the wood. It had a large yard that Medina let grow wild, though honestly, I preferred it that way. Nature should be free. It was an older house in need of a good power washing, but it still had a timeless sort of beauty. Most of my childhood memories involved this house in one form or another.

Grinning, I jogged up the front steps and pushed open the front door - it was never kept locked. There was hardly anyone out here, so we didn’t have to worry about break-ins, and anyway there was almost always someone home. 

“Who’s there?” Jocelynn called from the back of the house - probably the kitchen. 

“It’s me and Ash!” Jesse yelled back, following the sound of Jocelynn’s voice. 

“Good morning, girls!” She beamed at us, deep laugh lines forming in her cheeks, and pulled us each into a hug. She was dressed in a pair of grey slacks and a white blouse that was very flattering to her curves. Her dyed red hair was pulled half up, with loose waves falling around her shoulders. Jocelynn was a teacher, I think English and was almost always dressed in what could only be described as "business casual". “What are you two doing up so early?” She gave me a meaningful look, her hazel eyes sparkling. “You’re never up before noon".

I shrugged, distracted by the freckles that were scattered all over her face and arms, but were heaviest under her eyes and across her nose. I'd always thought they were adorable. “Just a little trouble sleeping. Figured we’d come to shoot some pool over here.” 

“You want some breakfast before you do?” Jocelynn seemed incapable of not taking care of people. She didn’t have any kids of her own because her husband had died before they could conceive, so she contented herself with playing mom to the pack, even though she was barely thirty-five. She’d lived in the mansion in the eight years since she’d been widowed, cleaning and cooking and offering an endless supply of hugs. 

"Do you even have to ask?" I grinned, stomach rumbling. Even if I wasn't hungry, I'd have had a hard time turning down her cooking. She laughed and got to work. 

"Mind if I make some coffee?" Jesse asked, ever polite. 

Jocelynn scoffed, gesturing to the coffee pot. "Help yourself - I don't even know why you bother asking." 

A few minutes later I was inhaling my creamer-laden coffee and breathing a sigh of contentment. My nightmare and the bad feeling seemed worlds away now and I wondered what I'd been so worried about. Gabriel entered just then, blinking in the bright morning light and running his long fingers through his dark, uncombed hair. 

"Morning, Sunshine." I teased, looking over his rumpled appearance. Even fresh out of bed, in wrinkled clothes, and half-asleep he was pretty hot. But, he was Medina's son, whom I had a pretty low opinion of, and we'd never run in the same circle of friends. Still, his black eyes, thick, dark brown, wavy hair, and tall wiry build were damn fine to look at even if I'd have never pursued the thought. And, of course, the tattoo on his right forearm was sexy, too. It was a large tree of some sort and it was very unique and distorted growth pattern. It was beautiful.

He groaned and made a beeline for the coffee. "Mmmm, caffeine." I watched in mock horror as he poured himself a cup of black coffee and sat next to me, gulping it down. 

"How the holy hell can you drink that black?" I shuddered dramatically. 

He peered at me sideways, a wry smile pulling at the corner of his lips. "How can you drink that liquid sugar you're passing off as coffee?" He fired back at me, shaking his head. "I'm gonna go into a diabetic coma just looking at it." 

I laughed and shook my head, changing subjects rather than offering a rebuttal. "I was just about to kick my sister's ass at pool - wanna join?"

He glanced up at me for a second, as if surprised, hesitating like he might be considering, but then he shook his head with a wry smile. "Sorry, but I've got plans already." 

"Your loss." We all ate breakfast and then went our separate ways. Medina walked in as I was rinsing my plate off. 

I loathed Medina. Just the sight of him made my skin crawl. I looked over his muscle-bound figure, the dark collage of tattoos that completely covered both of his arms and crawled up his neck, as well as the haughty expression he wore. His black hair was jelled back, as it normally was, he had a neatly trimmed goatee, a strong jaw, and thin, harsh lips. He was wearing a pear of maroon sweats and a dingy white wife beater that had certainly seen better days. I had to fight back the urge to snarl at him as he passed. 

It was years ago now, but the incident still stuck out in my mind. Rose, a local Faery and friend of mine, was hanging out with us one night. We'd only just started drinking - it was early in the night. I knew she'd gone outside. It wasn't uncommon for her to slip outside to escape the press of bodies and heat. What was uncommon was her being gone so long. I'd set my drink down, asked Angel to keep an eye on it, and slipped outside. I remembered clearly the sounds of someone whimpering. It had brought back memories of my own abuse and tightened my gut with fear. I'd rounded the corner to find Rose pinned to the wall by Kris. 

What happened next was a blur of events. I remembered hitting Kris and Medina hitting me, somehow, but I was a little cloudy on the details - it had all happened so fast. Rose had tried to stand up for me, attempting to explain to Medina what Kris had done to her, but he'd told her it was pack business and to get lost. I tried to tell Medina, also, what Kris had done, but he wouldn't hear of it. Suggesting Rose had wanted it - I mean, had I seen the way she was dressed? Even now, several years later, I vibrated with repressed rage at the thought. But, like always, I shoved it down and plastered a smile on my face. As much as I'd love to, I knew I couldn't challenge Medina. He was pack Alpha and I was nowhere near in his league. 

"Morning," I mumbled as I slid past him and headed for the pool room. My sister said nothing by way of greeting, but that wasn't unusual for her. Jesse rarely greeted anyone unless you were actually friends.

I spared one last look over my shoulder for Medina before I turned my thoughts to the challenge at hand - beating my sister at pool. 

Several hours later found me considerably lighter, my nightmare and bad feelings from earlier seemed silly now. I laughed at my sister's dismayed look as I sank the 8 ball, bringing us to an even split on wins. 

"Damn you." She glowered, shaking her head. "You wouldn't have won if I hadn't fucked up." 

I scoffed. "Don't try and rob me of my victory. I won fair and square."

"Oh, yeah? Wanna prove it with another round?" I opened my mouth to tell her "hell, yeah" but my phone rang before I could. I crossed the room and plucked it from the small, round table in the corner. 

"Who is it?" Jesse asked, curious. 

"Jay," I said as I slid the bar on my screen to answer the call. "Hey, what's up?" 

"What are you up to, babe?" His voice was incredibly deep and the sound shivered down my spine, pulling a smile to my lips.  

"Shooting pool with Jesse. Why what's up?"

"Was wondering if you wanted to come over for a bit before the full moon?" 

"Hmmm." I glanced over at my sister, wondering if she'd be offended if I left. 

She smirked as I looked at her, rolling her eyes, "Go." 

I covered my phone with my hand. "You sure?" 

"Absolutely. I promised CJ I'd hang out with him anyway. Go have fun." 

I mouthed "Thank You" and told Jay I'd be there in twenty. 

A while later I pulled up to Jay's apartment - he was one of the few pack members who didn't stay at the mansion or his family home. He'd wanted to gain some independence so he had a job working at the local burger joint and had gotten his own place. The apartments weren't great, to be honest, but I don't think that mattered to him much. I think he mostly appreciated having his privacy. 

I walked up the old concrete staircase with the rusted handrails to the third floor. The white paint on the side of the old building was cracked, peeling, and grey with age. I was very careful to avoid touching anything, even when I stumbled slightly on the landing.

I eased the door open, an expectant smile tugging on my lips. A quick survey of the small living room (brown carpet, off-white textured walls, an old blue sofa with the stuffing coming out, and a rickety old table that had clearly seen better days) showed Jay wasn't in there. I shut the door quietly behind me and crept silently through the house, hoping to scare him. Ears perked for the barest hit of sound, I slipped down the hallway. I grinned when I realized the shower was going. Biting my lip against the urge to giggle, I eased the bathroom door open and checked to make sure he wasn't paying attention. 

Sure enough, his back was to the door and he was running his hands through the short, slightly curly, dark blonde hair that I loved so much. I shut the door behind me and eased into a crouch, sliding across the floor until I was standing with my palms pressed to the class on the shower. I took a deep breath and screamed as loud as I could, keeping my eyes trained on him as I did. 

He jumped, screaming himself, and whirling on the spot. I fell back on my ass, laughing, as he surveyed the room in angry confusion. His eyes zeroed in on me as I laughed and I felt a thrill thrum down my spine. Before I could scramble out of his reach, he’d thrown the shower door open and pulled me to my feet. 

"You bitch!" He growled. In the next instant, he yanked me into the shower with him. 

I screeched, sliding and nearly falling in my haste to escape the water. He chuckled and pulled me to his chest. My clothes were soaked through in a matter of seconds. 

"You bastard!" I smacked at his chest, partially annoyed, though I couldn’t help laughing. 

"That's what you get!" Now he was the one with his head thrown back, hysterical with laughter. 

 I scoffed and quickly pulled my keys and my phone out of my pants. I tossed them on his pile of clothes on the floor. Still glowering, I quickly peeled my soaking clothes off. I huffed and crossed my arms when I’d finished, pouting. "You piece of shit." My tone was biting, but Jay knew me well enough by now to know when I was joking. 

 He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Don't be like that."  He tilted my chin up and kissed me, softly. 

 I told myself that I would resist that I wouldn't kiss him back - I would just stand that unmoving and unresponsive which was nothing more than he deserved, but I just couldn't help responding when he kissed me. We had been lovers for months now and my body wanted him even if my mock-wounded pride didn't. 

 My lips parted against my will and I kissed him back, arms moving to wrap around his neck. I leaned into his body, enjoying the feel of him. He was athletically built, like most wolves, but not so much that he was unpleasant to cuddle up against.  I could feel the strength in his arms as he held me tight against him and explored my mouth with his. When we broke apart all trace of amusement and irritation had faded. I grinned, leaning forward to trace my tongue up the thick scar that was ragged and long, diagonal across his chest. He'd gotten it in a fight years ago and I knew from experience that he liked it played with. I looked at him with desire in my eyes and stepped out of the shower to lead him to the bedroom. 

I had to step over a pile of dirty laundry when we got to his room, but I ignored it, more than used to the mess that was his apartment. I had more important things on my mind anyway. I sat on the edge of his platform bed and beckoned him to me.  His bed was the perfect height so that when he slipped between my legs he was in the perfect position to fuck me. Suddenly he was kissing me again, tangling his fingers in my soaking wet hair. I moaned in the back of my throat at the feeling of him pressed between my legs.  

I wrapped my hand around the base of him and broke away from the kiss long enough to murmur, "I want you inside me. Now."

 He growled low in his throat, grabbing me under my thighs and jerking me to him. In the next instant, he had guided himself inside of me. I threw my head back, a soft moan escaping my lips as he pushed deep inside of me, stretching me, filling me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as his hands slid up to my ass, nails digging in hard enough to draw blood as he fucked me.  The pain was sharp and intense, but it just turned me on more, endorphins raging through my mind. I would have a hard time sitting down later I knew, but it was well worth it. 

I braced myself as he fucked me, shaking my hair back and out of my face. I moaned for him, my voice coming out in little soprano bursts every time he plunged inside me. I brought my hands up to massage my tits, biting my lip as I watched him fuck me. I watched him push in and out of me and it just made me wilder, more turned on, more desperate for him. I leaned into him to kiss him. He kissed me for only an instant before he pulled away and out of me, flipping me on my stomach. 

“On your knees.” He commanded, knowing I’d obey him. 

I dragged a couple of his pillows over to me, propping my upper body up just a little before arching my back and giving him a full view of my ass and dripping pussy. He grabbed ahold of my hips and yanked me closer to the edge before guiding himself inside me once more. I adjusted my pillows and then slid my right hand back, reaching for my clit. I massaged my throbbing pussy as he thrust in and out of me, filling me up. 

“Oh, god!” I moaned, hair cascading over my face as he pounded my pussy. I bit my lip, my voice climbing higher and higher until, finally, I came. The orgasm washed over me in waves, tingling through my body. I continued rubbing my clit, slowly, gently, as I milked the orgasm for all it was worth. 

Above me, Jay was going frenzied and I knew he was close. I tightened my pussy for him, clenching the muscles deep inside me, and was satisfied to feel his shutter. He growled, his voice more wolf than man, though I knew he wasn't actually changing, and raked his nails down my back, splitting me open. I could feel warm blood oozing down my back and dripping off of my sides, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t the first time he’d bled me and they weren't the first scars he'd left. I doubted they'd be the last. My back was decorated with scars of past lovers. What could I say, I liked my sex rough. 

He pulled out of me and I collapsed onto my side, eyes half-lidded, the world sort of soft and fuzzy in the afterglow.

 I lay cuddled up with him afterward, enjoying the feeling of his arms around me, in the familiar comfort of his presence. Jay was a peaceful sort of person to be around, someone who almost always made me feel more relaxed than I did almost any other time. I hated to break the peaceful little bubble that we were in, but I had places to be.

"I need to go,"  I said as I disentangled myself from his arms and sat up. He sighed and sat up as well, running his fingers through his hair. 

“I wish you didn't have to go. I wish you could just lay here cuddled up with me until the sun went down.” He sounded sad and I wondered, not for the first time if he loved me. I didn’t think I loved him, but I knew I felt something for him. He was my friend and damned good in bed, but I didn’t think I’d call it love. I was careful to keep these thoughts off of my face, however. One day, probably soon, we’d have to talk out our feelings and see where that left us, but for now, I was content with the way things were and I didn’t want to fuck it up.

I smiled and turned to lean down and give him a kiss. "Me too, babe, but I promised Angel I would meet her before the full moon." 

"I get it." He smiled and hugged me close before letting me go and giving me a light smack on the ass. I winced as the pain stung my new scratches, but I enjoyed the pain and didn’t complain. “Get out of here.” 

I ended up borrowing sweats and a T-shirt to wear home.  I hurried back to my place and changed, looking regretfully at my hair. It would take a solid two hours to straighten it and I definitely didn't have that kind of time. With a sigh, I ran some oil through it, defining the curls, and called it done. I took a deep breath and let it out. No reason to feel harried, Ash, I told myself. I left then and headed for the bar. 

Michael’s Pool Hall is, ironically enough, a vampire owned and operated pool hall that’s been around for more years than I care to count. Dingy, dark, and rundown, it had been a regular haunt of the pack for as long as I could remember. Plus Michael, the owner, was a six-century old vamp that didn’t care for shenanigans so he made sure the vamps that frequented his establishment behaved themselves. It was one of the few places in this town where the supernatural let their carefully constructed images slip a little. Humans went there, too, so we still had to be careful, but it was nice to relax a little. 

I went inside and ordered a drink, making myself comfortable at the bar. Or tried to. Now that the afterglow had finished, my ass hurt. Every time I moved the slightest bit on the stool I was reminded. There were people here that I knew and was friendly with, but I wasn't feeling very social just then so instead I let my mind wander as I looked around the room. 

"Hey, babe." I looked up from the whiskey sour I'd been absent-mindedly stroking and grinned, meeting the eyes of my best friend, Angel, as I did so. 

Angel looked amazing, as usual. Her thick, wavy-curly light blonde hair cascaded to the bottom of her ribs. I wasn't into girls like Angel was, but I had a minor obsession with her hair. It was thick and soft and I loved playing with it. She was dressed to kill, as usual, in a white sheath dress that clung to her body and white stilettos to match. How that girl could run around in 6-inch heels all the time without dying, I'd never know. Her narrow blue eyes sparkled mischievously as she slid into the stool beside me, her lopsided smile lighting up the room. She had a dimple on one side, but not the other, and it always left her smile a little uneven.

"You look fantastic," I told her as I took another long sip of my drink. 

"So do you, babe." She winked, giving me the once over. I knew what she was seeing: knee-high black boots that laced up the front, skin-tight leggings underneath, a dark red, corseted top underneath a black leather jacket, and my trademark inky black hair falling mid-way down my back. Angel and I had always been a study in contrasts.

"Thanks." I grinned, taking another drink as she ordered a margarita from the bartender. "You ready for tonight?" I asked, recapturing her attention. 

"So ready." She laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I need a good run." We exchanged knowing smirks. Tonight was a full moon which meant the entire pack would be subject to the change. If you were powerful enough, you could change at will even when there wasn't a full moon, but regardless of power level, the moon held sway over all wolf-kind. The only one of us who wouldn't be stuck in wolf form for the entire time the moon was in the sky was Medina, the pack alpha. He had to change at least once during the full moon, but he didn't have to stay in wolf form the entire night like the rest of us.  

"Hey, ladies!" I snapped out of my musings and looked up to see Nick and Jason headed over to us. 

"What's up losers," I laughed, taking them in.

Jason was short, around my height, with buzzed blonde hair, golden skin, bright blue eyes, and a nice smile. He was stocky, though not intimidating in the least. Jason was a jokester through and through who didn't take anything seriously. He was always reliable for a laugh if nothing else. His arms were decorated in tribal tattoos which I honestly think he got just for the irony factor. A werewolf with tribal tattoos? Come on, it absurd. But, then, that fit Jason's personality perfectly.

Nick, or Nicholai, was the quieter of the two. He had a subtle sort of humor that would go right over your head if you weren't paying attention. He was taller, too, just over 6 feet, with thick dirty blonde hair that fell to his shoulders in a shaggy mess. You wanted to run your fingers through it, but you just knew your fingers would get caught in the tangles. He had a cute, albeit brooding face that rarely smiled. I'd always wondered if he'd be cuter if he smiled more or if it was his quiet disposition that made him cute in the first place.

"You ladies ready to strip down and get nekkid tonight?" Jason teased, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. I laughed, shaking my head. 

"Shut up. You'll be too busy screaming in agony to appreciate the view anyway, you pussy." I bit back. 

Jason pretended to look offended, his hand pressing to his chest in mock horror, but before he could rebuttal, a voice sounded from behind us. 

"Yell it why don't you, guys, the whole bar didn't hear you." I recognized the voice instantly and glanced over my shoulder to spot Arien, the local vampire hunter sauntering over to us with a grin on her face. She was tiny, several inches shorter than either Angel or myself, with wicked pale skin, dark black hair, and big, dark blue eyes. She had a killer body, too, and honest-to-god one of the most beautiful faces I'd ever seen. And that was taking note of the fact that Angel was my best friend, the Beauty Queen herself. But then, I couldn't really be surprised given that she was 50% Dragon Fae. The Fae were well known for their natural appeal. 

"Because so many people are paying attention to us right now." Angel laughed, but I noticed she lowered her voice anyway. "How ya doin', babe?" 

"I'm alright. Off duty tonight so figured I'd come here and shoot the shit." Arien smirked. I wondered, not for the first time, how she managed to hang out in a bar owned and operated by a vampire without any problems. I supposed it was because she didn't seem to come equipped with the same ingrained hatred of the supernatural that most hunters came with. Still, I would have expected some sort of natural animosity, but I'd never seen her get into an altercation with anyone here. Maybe it was the fact that she was half supernatural herself, though she'd never exhibited any of the Fae magicks. 

"What about you guys?" Arien asked, arching an eyebrow at all of us. "Shouldn't you be off howling at the moon?" She winked good-naturedly. 

I glanced out the window and saw that the sky was streaked with color, though it wasn't quite sunset yet. "The moon's not actually in the sky yet," I responded dryly, giving her shit. "But, you do have a point. We should get going. I've got to meet my sister."

"Oh, yeah, how is Jesse? I haven't seen her around in a while." Arien asked. 

"She's good, just not much for the bar scene unless I drag her." I rolled my eyes. "Thinks she's too good for booze and boys." Angel laughed beside me and we both slid down from our bar stools. I glanced around, wondering where Jason and Nick had gotten off to - they'd disappeared at some point during the conversation. 

"I mean, I totally get her on the boys part. I'm more into women, myself." Angel was saying beside me, giving Arien a pointed look. Arien blushed furiously, but didn't comment. Angel had been relentlessly trying to get in Arien's pants for years. 

"Give it a rest, Angel." I laughed, shaking my head. "You've been howling at this girl for ages and she hadn't reciprocated yet." I shot Arien a half-apologetic look, though I knew she didn't mind. I suspected she enjoyed the attention, even if she wasn't into women. 

"I meaaaaan…." Arien teased, winking at Angel. 

"Oh, Gods, don't encourage her." I laughed, grabbing Angel by the arm and dragging her away. "See ya around!" I called over my shoulder. 

"Later!" Arien called back, laughter clear in her voice. 

"You think I have a shot?" Angel giggled beside me, glancing over her shoulder. 

"Not a chance." I shook my head, grinning. 

Angel and I parted ways in the parking lot after promising to see each other tonight under the full moon. I climbed into my dark blue 2017 Corvette Z06 and sped off to the house. I pulled into the driveway 10 minutes later, sliding in behind my sister's car. 

"Ugh, do we have to take your car?" Jesse, my lovely, car-elitist, pain-in-the-ass sister, asked, leaning into my window. "You know how much I hate these new Corvettes. 

"First off, you just hate them 'cause they're popular which is not at all valid and, secondly, I don't feel like playing musical cars. Get your ass in here and shut up." She huffed and rolled her eyes, but walked around the car and got in anyway. 

"At least it's a standard." She sighed, glancing around my impeccable interior. 

"Fuck off." I laughed, peeling out of the driveway and heading towards the mansion. 

When we arrived, nearly everyone had gathered in the foyer already. Medina stood in the back of the room, looking out over all of us. 

"Welcome, Ash and Jesse!" He called as we shut the door behind us. I forced a smile, jerking my chin up in greeting. Beside me, Jesse gave a half-wave and said nothing, always the anti-social one. 

"Hey, girls!" Mom called from somewhere in the crowd. I glanced around and saw her making our way towards us.

 Mom is gorgeous. Especially for her age. It had taken me a long time to learn how to be self-confident in her presence. She had chestnut brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a smile that could light up the room. She’d always taken remarkably good care of herself, working out, and eating right. Her skin glowed with youth, helped along by her incessant need to use anti-wrinkle cream. She'd been using it since she was younger than I am now and it had paid off. In the back half of her forties, she could easily pass for 30. 

Aside from her model-perfect good looks though, my Mom was a lovely person. Upbeat and smiling, she was always full of charm and laughter. She was nothing like my sister and me… I’d often wondered how we’d ended up so different from her, but I loved my mom despite our differences. 

I grinned as she reached us, pulling her into a tight hug. We all had our own hectic schedules and I hadn't seen her in several days, despite the fact that we lived in the same house.  She had Jesse next, pulling a rare smile from my sister.

"How are my girls?"

"I'm good, Mom. I have just been working on cars a lot with CJ.  How about you?" Jesse answered.

"Oh! I'm just great! What about you, Ash, how are you doing?" A flash of Jay's kind smile went through my mind. 

"I'm great, Mom." 

 She beamed at both of us, looking like she wanted to say more, but just then Medina called to order. 

 I turned my attention reluctantly to the pack leader, wishing more than anything that somebody would challenge him already. A sharp nudge to the ribs caught me off guard and I glanced to my right to see Jesse giving me a knowing look. I sighed and wiped the glower from my face. Right. It wouldn't do for anyone to figure out how much I hated Medina. I plastered a smile on my face and tried to pay attention to his monthly rousing speech about pack unity and maintaining The Secret, but I found myself tuning out anyway. 

  I surveyed the room, taking in my fellow wolves, and wondering who could be strong enough and just enough to lead the pack. My eyes fell on Logan first, but I immediately dismissed the thought. Logan was Medina's right-hand man and he was just as shady, if not more so. My lip curled up at the sight of his ginger hair and broad, muscled back. I forced my gaze away, turning to Gabriel instead. 

It was probably unfair, but I didn't consider Gabriel a candidate either. He’d never shown any indication that he was like his father, but I just didn't trust it. I figured he had to either be extremely damaged from being raised by someone like Medina or he was as twisted and fucked up as he was. 

Next was Nathan, tall - really tall, like 6'8" -  and lean and impossible to miss. He had ashy-blonde hair which he kept gelled in short little spikes, and grey eyes, though I couldn't see the eyes from here. I didn't know much about him though, except that he was dating Zena, which in-of-itself was endearing. Everyone loved Zena. She was short, with white-blonde hair that was down to her knees, and skin that was so pale it was albino. I couldn't imagine someone as gentle and intelligent as she was dating someone who was a piece of shit. But did that make him leader material? I wasn't sure. Zena stood beside him, small and delicate, holding his hand. The pair was inseparable - I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen one without the other. 

 Next to them, were Jason and  Nick. I smiled at the sight of them, the two of them had a pension for making me laugh, but I couldn't exactly see either of them leading anybody.  It occurred to me then, that as I surveyed the pack for potential pack leaders, I was only focusing on the males. Was it because the men were somehow more capable of leading? Was my own ingrained sexism preventing me from considering a worthy female? I wasn't sure. 

 I changed my surveying then, looking at the women as well. There was Zena, of course, I knew she was certainly kind and intelligent, but did she have the muscle to defend the position? Werewolves had always been governed by strength. We wouldn't suffer a weak leader. Unfortunately, that usually meant brute strength. Anyone could challenge the alpha for leadership. If you couldn't physically defend your throne, the theory was that you didn't deserve to have it. Which was probably why women hadn’t often, or as far as I was aware, ever, lead the pack. Even the strongest females wouldn't be a match for most men. Men were physically stronger, that was all there was to it, and the fact that we were lycanthropes didn't change that. I might have been able to take any human male without breaking a sweat, but as I looked around the room I knew there weren't many of my male peers that I could take. Of course, I had a reputation for taking out those that had wronged me, but in a street fight, there are no rules. In a fight for the throne, however, there were. No weapons allowed. You can only fight with what tools were at your disposal naturally. 

I looked to Tasha next. She was miniature at only a hair over five feet. Her long (and I mean long, it was down to her mid-thigh), thick, dark brown hair had a sort of wild, untamed quality about it. She was pretty, but there was no way I'd trust her as a leader. I didn't have quite the same reservations about her that Angel had, but there was definitely something off about her. 

Serena stood near her, leaning against a wall with arms folded and looking utterly bored. She was black, though she was pretty light-skinned, with elbow-length dreads that were black with blonde highlights. She had dark, expressive eyes, and very full lips. Tall for a girl at nearly six-foot, she was more imposing than most of the females in the pack. I knew she was a scrapper when she had a mind to be, but honestly, Serena was so damned laid back I wondered if she cared about the pack enough to take charge. It was hard to imagine her passionate about something.

 Applause took up and I blinked in confusion before it occurred to me Medina must have finished his speech. I clapped along halfheartedly and followed my fellow pack members as they made their way out the back door. We all made our way out into the woods, to the clearing where we could embrace the change and our truest forms without the fear of prying eyes. It was time to focus on the full moon, but I knew I'd come back to this train of thought. 

It was a bit of a walk to get to the clearing and I took the time to center myself. The full moon was a time to let go of your worldly cares. Stress. Drama. Negativity and bullshit. None of it had any place on this most sacred of nights. Lycanthropy was a gift. A blessing. We had strength in our bones and magic in our blood. It was good to be alive, to be surrounded by my friends and family. To feel safe, loved, accepted. I was in a place where I could truly be myself. I knew that was sometimes rare in the world and I counted myself lucky. 

I reached the clearing then along with the others and I took a deep breath, letting a grin spread over my face. I could feel it coming on… the change. It was an uncomfortable feeling, even after all these years. I was restless, twitchy, just desperate to escape my own skin. I rolled my shoulders, cracking my neck and shaking back my hair. I knew my eyes flashed green as I glanced up at the sky. The moon was directly overhead now, unobscured by clouds. It wouldn’t be much longer. In one swift motion, I pulled my top over my head and let it fall to the ground. Next, I kicked off my boots and slid out of my pants. I stood completely naked, surrounded by the members of my pack. I saw a few of the boys in my age group shoot me a few appreciative glances, but mostly we were all too absorbed by the moon to pay much attention to the exposed parts all around us. 

The first scream rent the air a moment later as my sister, Jesse, dropped to her knees. I heard the snap of her spine an instant before my own transformation started. Screams echoed in the deep woods all around me as the members of my pack lost themselves to the change. I willed the change on faster, embracing the bones and tendons rearranging themselves painfully beneath my skin. A tortured scream-howl ripped free from me as I lost my balance and fell to the ground. Bones and muscles and sinew rippled beneath my flesh… breaking and moving and repositioning themselves into a different shape. 

“God!” I choked out - the pain unbelievable. I drug freshly grown claws down my own hide, stripping away the human flesh. The pain was overwhelming, but I knew from experience the faster I could complete the change, the faster the pain would end. Painful inch by painful inch, I peeled the human skin off, revealing a thick black pelt beneath. With one last soul-tearing scream I shook off the last of my human gauze. Blood splattered out from me, along with the last bits of human meat. My scream turned to a howl, rising to harmonize with the rest who’d already completed the transformation.

I stood, the same weight as before, but now in the form of a large wolf. It was possible to change into a sort of wolf-man (humanoid in shape, but covered in fur with claws and pointy ears) or to change specific body parts while leaving the rest human, but you had to be higher ranking in the pack than I was. 

I glanced around me, taking in those who were slower to change or who were resisting on some subconscious level. They merely prolonged their own agony and I was sorry for them. I locked eyes with my sister, seeing my own face echoed in hers. We sent up a howl together and then took off through the woods. 

I let my senses range out, taking in everything around me. It was a cool, fall night and the air was rich around me. The most overwhelming scent was the scent of my pack. Nearly 100 of my kind were in the immediate surrounding area and their individual scents swirled around me. I could have sifted through and named each and every one of them if I’d been so inclined. I shook it off and focused on what lay beneath that musky stench.  There was a small mammal decomposing some 50 yards to my left. A cool breeze washed the scent away a moment later and brought back with it the scent of the pond I knew lay nestled in a field half a mile upwind. I could smell the family of squirrels that were nestled, sleeping, high up in the tree to my right. 

I took off through the trees, my sister racing beside me. I pushed myself harder, faster, determined to beat her this time. We were neck and neck until we burst through the tree line and into the open field. She inched ahead of me and I snapped at her left shoulder, catching her off guard. She snarled a rebuttal as I nosed ahead of her, a coughing-bark slipping free of my throat. My wolf version of a chuckle. She howled her frustration and pushed herself faster, pushing ahead of me, despite my strain. I snapped and snarled in response, but it didn’t matter - I was losing ground. 

My frustration was short-lived, however, as a golden ball of teeth and claws plowed my sister from the right. The impact sent her skidding into me and the three of us went tumbling down the hill to my left. I let out a yelp as I landed at the bottom of the small hill, biting down on my tongue. I lay there for a minute, dazed, before finally standing and shaking it off. Beside me, Jason was rolling around on his back in obvious glee and my sister was glowering at him. I launched myself at her, a playful snarl on my lips. For several minutes we rolled around in the weeds, kicking and snapping and snarling without any real intent behind it. A howl from the top of the hill broke us out of our play fighting and stole our gazes. A moment later the sounds of fighting, real fighting, reached me and I bolted up the hill to investigate. 

Tasha and Angel stood facing each other, vicious snarls echoing in the space between them. Tasha already had bloodied fur on her face. Angel lunged at Tasha once again as I watched, jaws snapping at her throat, but Tasha was agile and rolled out of the way. I moved to push through the crowd and interrupt the fight, but before I could, Zena strolled through the middle of the circle. She seemed oblivious to what was happening, casually licking her paws as she planted herself between the two fighting wolves, but I had my suspicions she was perfectly aware of what she was interrupting. Predictably, Sasha and Angel stopped their snarling long enough to look at Zena, confusion clear in their gazes. The inherent protectiveness we all felt for her prevented the two of them from continuing their onslaught when she was so directly in their way. Angel snapped her jaws together, glaring at Tasha for a second longer before snorting and turning away. 

Everyone dispersed pretty quickly after that, but my gaze was locked on Tasha who stared at Angel as she walked away with an intensity that made me uncomfortable. After a long minute, Tasha blinked, shook herself, and then slid her gaze to me. She cocked her head at me when she caught my staring before turning to disappear in the thick underbrush of the forest. I shook off the feeling of unease and turned to follow Angel. 

I found her a few yards away, hidden from view and licking her wounds. She had a bloody patch on her belly that I hadn’t noticed before. She whimpered, a moment of weakness I knew she’d never had revealed to anyone else, and I licked her shoulder in comfort. I nudged her with my forehead, whining, and moved my head down to lick her belly as well. The wound didn’t seem serious, more likely Angel’s ego had taken more of a bruising than anything else. I felt bad for her, but at the same time, I knew she brought it on herself. 

Angel had had a bug up her ass about Tasha for years now. She was convinced she was a true sociopath and would turn into a murderous fiend if we didn’t keep a close eye on her. I couldn’t deny she gave me the creeps, but that didn’t exactly make her a murderer. Nothing I said would dissuade Angel from her obsession, however. She persisted in her animosity towards Tasha whenever she had the opportunity. 

Once we’d cleaned her fur of the blood, Angel plopped down on her belly, snout resting on her paws, and stared off into the woods. I glanced at her and then back behind us, through the trees, where I knew the rest of the pack was. I was torn between wanting to comfort my best friend and wanting to be with the pack. A rustle behind us caught my attention and I turned my gaze to the sound automatically, ears twitching. Gabriel peered at me from under the leaves, head tilted, observing. If I’d had the power of speech, I’d have told him to get lost. As it was, I curled my lips back and flashed teeth. The exchange was soundless - I didn’t want to draw Angel’s attention to his presence if I could help it. I knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t want any of the pack to see her sulky and injured. Gabriel dipped his head in acknowledgment of my threat and disappeared back through the trees.  

I snuggled in closer to my best friend and laid my head next to hers, the only comfort I could offer her in this form. We lay there so long I started to doze off, but before sleep fully took me another sound in the trees caught my attention. I lifted my head, ears swiveling to catch the sound. 

Kris entered the clearing slowly, lips pulled back in a wolfish grin. He was here to start trouble I knew, to exploit Angel while she was wounded. My ears flattened and I pulled my lips back over my teeth in warning. I didn't make a sound, but the message was clear: back off. Unfortunately, Kris had never been one to take "no" for an answer. He took several steps forward, cautious, but not abandoning his plan. I rose to my feet, the fur down my spine standing on end. Beside me, Angel perked her head up, ears flattening when she saw who had joined us. 

Kris took another step forward. I let out a low growl. I didn't want to fight him - he'd always been a favorite of Medina, the pack leader, and I didn't want to face his ire. Medina had a bit of a cruel streak and I definitely didn't want to be on the receiving end of one of his punishments. Kris, tail aloft with confidence and ears perky, growled a challenge. I snarled, the threat in my voice clear. Just because I didn't want to fight him didn't mean I wouldn't. Kris had to be aware of that - I had a bit of a reputation - but he stalked closer anyway. 

I snarled again, snapping my teeth together, but the sound was cut off abruptly as Kris lunged at me and I dodged out of the way. He sailed past me and instead landed on Angel. Instantly, he was all over her. I didn't think, I just reacted. I leaped through the air, jaws latching onto his spine, and bit down with as much force as I could muster. My teeth sank through fur and muscle and skin and sank into the bone. There was a crack, a high pitched yelp-scream, and then Kris collapsed. 

Abruptly, I was torn free of Kris and tossed through the air. My spine connected with a tree and I crumpled to the ground in a heap. I blinked through a hazy vision to see Medina standing where I'd been just a moment before. He shifted into his human form as I watched and bent to lift Kris in his arms. 

"You two, get back to the mansion." He barked, fury etched in the lines of his face. I shifted to my belly, crouched low, and let out a growl, making my feelings on the matter quite clear. Burning rage flashed in Medina's eyes. "Don't growl at me, pup, or I'll make your punishment worse." I cut the growl off, but I was still flashing teeth. 

I waited for Medina to disappear back into the trees before turning to check on Angel. She was bloodied, but not seriously injured. I whined, nudging her with my snout. She ducked her head and licked my cheek, attempting to reassure me. Stiff with anger, I turned and started for the mansion. I could hear the soft passage of Angel behind me as we made our way slowly through the trees. 

It took about half an hour of walking a steady, albeit slow, pace to make our way back to the open yard of the mansion. I was in no hurry to meet my fate. I pushed through the large doggy door - literally huge, it had to be big enough for the 250lb males to squeeze through in their wolf forms - in the back door and made my way to the den. Medina turned upon my entrance and stalked over to me. 

I snarled, backing up a step, but he reached me in just a few strides, growing his claws as he did. He sank his claws into the scruff of my neck and tossed me into the wall. Pain shot through me as I smacked my spine into a solid object for the second time in less than an hour. I crumpled to the floor, pieces of the wall falling around me, and before I could react he was on me again. He swiped his claws across my face and I yelped with pain and surprise. 

Blood quickly soaked my fur, cascading over my left eye. He stood over me panting and something that looked remarkably like glee flashed in the depths of his black eyes. I rolled to my back, showing my belly, a sign of submission in the wolf community. Satisfied, Medina returned to Kris' side. 

I belly crawled back outside, keeping my head down, and quickly left behind the openness of the yard. I could hear someone behind me and my nose told me it was Angel. I whirled on her, snarling and snapping my jaws. I knew she meant well and I felt guilty, but I wanted to be alone. She responded with a growl of her own but she turned away and left me be. 

I walked on alone until I found a hidden spot nearly a mile from the mansion.  It was in a small valley of sorts, out of the way of the usual paths of the pack. Sure that I was alone, I sank into the tall grass under a great oak and began trying to clean the wound. 

It hurt something fierce. I couldn't see out of my left eye and there was a pulsing, sharp pain that consumed that entire side of my face. I let out a whimper, giving up on trying to clean the wound and lay my head on my paws. I burned with outrage and the injustice of it all. It was going to scar. I knew that much. Wolf kind can heal a lot of damage and certainly at a faster rate than humans can, but we still scar. I would have a wicked scar going down the left side of my face, I knew. I howled up at the sky in rage in grief, forgetting I was hiding for just a moment.

Of course, Kris wouldn't be punished. He never had been for his many transgressions which ranged from simple harassment to outright violence and rape, though he was always careful not to pick fights with anyone who could actually take him in a fight. I let out a low growl and clawed at the ground. 

A sound to my right caught my attention and my head snapped up, ears already flat against my skull. The dark form of Gabriel materialized. I pulled my lips back over my teeth, jaws snapping together. I didn't want company or pity. I wanted to be left alone. Gabriel, however, didn't seem to care what I wanted. He walked slowly over to me, seemingly in as nonthreatening a way as he could manage. Gods, why couldn't he just leave me alone? 

He stood in front of me for a moment, almost indecisive in his movements, before finally positioning himself to my left. He lay down, quite close, so that our sides pressed together and turned his head to look at me. I looked back at him and decided that, while I very much preferred to be alone, I didn't want to fight him to acquire said solitude when I knew he was just trying to comfort me. He looked at me for a long time before finally, his tongue snaked out and he began licking my wounds clean. It hurt like a sonofabitch but it was necessary, I knew. I was still irritated he'd crashed my anguished sulking, but I was also secretly grateful. 

His tongue lapped at the left side of my face until all of the blood was gone and then he nudged me with his snout, a low whine accompanying the motion, and lay his head down, clearly not in a hurry to go anywhere. I huffed and lay my own head down. I remained tense for an immeasurable amount of time before slowly sleep began to take me. The stress of the day had taken its toll and I was exhausted. I felt safer with him there, though I'd never have admitted it to him. I had a reputation to uphold, after all. 

I woke just enough a bit later to realize he was getting up before I drifted off again. When I woke a second time, it was to something soft and warm being pulled over me. I lifted my head, confused, and looked around me. Gabriel stood over me, having just released the edge of the blanket from his mouth. I was confused before I caught sight of the moon that was nearly at the horizon. Warmth flooded through me as I realized he'd covered me up so I wouldn't be exposed when I shifted back into human form. I tiled my head at him, a confused whine escaping. He lay back down beside me, though he was on my right side this time, and licked my uninjured cheek. It was strange to be taken care of. I looked at him for a long moment before laying my head back down. 

The change woke me. A scream ripped through my throat as my body shuddered and began rearranging itself. The transformation back was worse than the initial transformation. I was exhausted now and no longer eager. I forced myself to finish it, clawing off my wolf-skin as I'd done my human flesh earlier. Blood and fluids soaked the ground around me. I shrieked at the sky, tears soaking my cheeks as I shuddered and shook off the last of my wolf. 

I collapsed to my side, my fingers automatically going up to trace the deep furrows going across my face. Now that I was in human form, it was easier to feel how much damage had been done. The marks started off as a small scratch near my scalp, almost imperceptible under my fingers, but as I traced them downward they grew thick and ragged and deep. I thanked the Moon I hadn't lost my eye, but it would scar, I knew, and as much as I hated myself for it, that thought broke me at that moment. I curled in on myself, sobbing, clutching my stomach. I was nearly hysterical, my breathing inching towards hyperventilating as I really absorbed the fact that I was going to be marked forever, my pretty face destroyed. 

A pair of arms slid around me then and I flinched away before Gabriel murmured low in my ear. "Hey, hey, it's just me. I've got you." I knew I should be embarrassed, that I should care he was watching me having one of the worst breakdowns I'd had in more years than I could count, but at that moment, I just didn't give a fuck. I lost myself to my grief and my rage and my pain until, at long last, I drifted into an uneasy sleep. 

The third time I woke, the sky was pink with the sunrise, and horror was flooding through me.  I knew instantly that something was horribly wrong with my sister. I jumped to my feet, heart racing, startling Gabriel out of sleep, and tore off through the trees towards the mansion. I was naked, the ground attacking my bare feet, tree branches scratching along my body. Behind me, Gabriel was in pursuit, shouting his confusion, but I ignored all of it. I focused on one thing, and one thing alone: the absolute devastation hitting me in relentless waves. 

I yanked open the back door of the mansion, ignoring the stares and exclamations of my pack - all human once more - and tore through the kitchen and into the hall. I took the stairs three at a time, up both flights of stairs, until I came skidding to a stop behind my sister on the third floor. 

I looked first to her face and then to her body, searching for some sign of injury, before my eyes finally followed her stunned gaze. I turned towards the room she was facing just as Gabriel reached my side. 

My eyes saw but refused to take it in. There was red everywhere. The once pastel and the beige room was painted red. It was on the walls, the floor, the ceiling. Everywhere. It was a long few minutes before my brain was able to admit it was blood. It was several more minutes before it sank in who it was that had been torn so viciously apart. Gold glinted under the bright lights amongst all the red. I sank to my knees, the blood eerily warm, my hand reaching out to grab the golden locket that I knew contained two pictures: one of me and one of my sister. 

My eyes locked on the wide, staring blue eyes of my mother - the only part of her that hadn't been marred and shredded beyond recognition. I opened my mouth to scream, but instead, I turned and puked, choking and sobbing, before someone wrapped their arms around me and drug me bodily from the room. 

"No, no, no…" I shook my head violently, murmuring the word over and over, as if my absolute denial of what was happening could make it not true. Strong arms held me tight and turned my face away from the horror, into their chest. I choked again, a painful sob squeezing my chest. My knees collapsed beneath me. The last thing I was aware of before darkness descended upon me was being cradled against someone's chest.