1 May

Damien finished his work in the forge a bit early so he could make a trip over to Ashlyn's house. He made a point to tell no one where he was going, and to his good fortune, no one had asked. The only person who saw him exit the house was Tenila, and she was likely to be discreet. After all, she was used to Damien shuffling in and out, especially on supposed market days like this where he closed down early and disappeared. To help sell his little ruse, Damien brought with him a cluster of newly made swords on his way out and promptly hid them to be dealt with later. 

On his way over to Ashlyn's, he grew shaken and nervous. He still felt terrible for upsetting her the other day; perhaps that's why he couldn’t suppress the need to deliver a peace offering. 

He needed to see her kind face. Unmarked by sadness.

He brought with him a bracelet, crafted from brass and set with an amethyst gem. He thought the girl would appreciate a more raw type of mineral rather than a polished jewel that normally fashioned his pieces. He didn’t quite understand where the girl's fascination with rocks came from, but he hoped she would find it a worthy gift.

Gifts were a language of honor here in the elven realm, a way to express emotions like affection or remorse. And he certainly felt remorse. 

Upon arriving at the healer's cozy house, Damien stood on the front porch and knocked on the door. He was a bit surprised to see Calda answer to him, as if the lady had suddenly reappeared in her own abode. 

"Damien?" The lady elf gave him an odd look. "Were we expecting you?"

"Uh, no...but I came to see your daughter." He held out a tiny, wrapped package, scratching at his neck. "I said some harsh things a few days ago. I guess I came to apologize?"

"Ah." Calda understood and let him pass inside. "Come in. Stay as long as it suits. Though, I can't say if Ashlyn desires any callers right now."

"Understandable."

Damien found the one he sought sitting on a cushioned sofa in the common room of the little house, her nose buried in a book. On the outside, Ashlyn was in perfect condition but Damien sensed the turmoil within her.

"Ash?" He came and sat beside her. "I brought you this. Thought it would cheer you up, if only a little."

Ashlyn closed her book to take his small offering. Unwrapping the package, she found the brass bracelet inside and puzzled at it. 

“It’s starting to feel like I’m robbing you,” she said, letting the chain dangle in her fingers. “I thought you didn’t like me anymore.”

“That’s not true,” he said, his eyebrows furrowing. “I feel like an ass. Kallus always tells me not to lose myself to anger. I’m still working on that.”

“Perhaps that’s why you sound more and more like him.” 

“Let me…” He fastened the bracelet around her wrist. It looked beautiful on her, matched the gold color in her irises. “I know I’m not good at expressing my emotions, but you’re right; I…I know you’re the only friend I have, Ash. It would be a pain to lose you, especially to something so trivial.”

The girl met his gaze, looked at him with those soft eyes of hers. And it made him uncomfortable. Suddenly, he was aware of Calda’s presence, watching them as they sat together. Damien drummed on his lap, took slow breaths. He had wished to speak to Ashlyn in private, maybe drop an invitation to supper, but with Calda posted nearby it just seemed awkward. 

“Would you like to go outside?” he asked. 

"We probably shouldn't go outside. Not with Girithane stalking you."

"Oh. Right. Did you ever cast that barrier you talked about?"

"I did," she nodded. 

"Interesting." Damien gawked around, looking to see some hazy form of magic above him. "It must be very invisible."

Ashlyn laughed, shaking her head. "It's not that kind of barrier," she said. "Physical barriers aren't powerful against people like Girithane. I cast a passive one, much like the one that seems to block me off from your history."

Damien couldn't pretend like he fully understood, but he nodded. "Then it should be perfectly safe," he said, rising from the couch. "Come on."

Tucking the tome under her arm, Ashlyn followed him out of the house and along the dirt road that took them west. He remembered the way to her most favored spot along the river, that scenic waterfall dotted with boulders to sit on. For all his time spent here in Gumber, it never felt fun unless Ashlyn was around. 

She probably enjoyed the forest more than him; the open air, the labyrinth of the trees, but he enjoyed being lost in it with her. Once they arrived at the waterfall site, Damien leaped onto the table-like boulder and pulled Ashlyn up beside him. It was the first time he gripped her hand, felt how soft her skin was. Cross-legged, they sat and faced each other, let the mesmerizing sounds of nature take over.

She noticed the rock hanging around his neck and reached for it. Damien let her examine the stone, now fastened by a silver chain. Still engraved with a tiny message. 

“You actually managed to do it,” she smiled. “I doubted—” She fell quiet, seemed shy to speak now that Damien couldn’t look away from her. His eyes dropped to her own chest, decorated with another chain he had crafted.

"Ahem." She released the pendant and rested her arms in her lap. 

Damien wasn’t one to start conversations, so he allowed the silence to drift between them. Unlike a few days ago, the silence felt good. Like a mystery to be uncovered layer by layer. 

His fingers touched the base of her neck, just for a moment, and it made her gasp. Of all the reactions he could expect, the girl pulled out her book and began to read. 

Of course, Damien chuckled to himself. Of course she’d use the book as a barrier to hide behind, but he settled back on the rock and said, “Why don’t you read out loud?”

The girl looked up, puzzling. “I thought you didn’t like books.”

“I never said that. I just don’t understand why you enjoy them so much.”
As if to challenge him, she flipped back to the beginning of a section and spoke the words on the page. 

It was not a subject Damien cared for— a simple tale of a maiden and a man. Forbidden love kept them from having a proper marriage in proper society. Damien could have rolled his eyes and scoffed, but he liked hearing the words from Ashlyn's lips. She weaved the tale with authority, made the lovers' voices come alive in his mind. 

At the closing of a chapter Ashlyn needed to rest her throat, so she set the book aside and left the page open. 

"I wonder what will happen next," Damien teased. "Do they go their separate ways or take every risk for each other? Boy, oh boy. What to choose?"

Ashlyn giggled, straightening the fabric of her clothes. "It's just a tale of fiction," she said. "What do you care?"

"Fiction? You mean to say, someone wrote this tale? Plotted the lovers' destiny?"

"That's all fiction is, a lesson of truth told through lies. That’s why I enjoy it."

"How does it end?" He hoped she would just tell him instead of making him wait. But Ashlyn wasn't so susceptible; she closed the book and set it aside. 

“Later.”

He sat up and found himself just a few inches from her face. Her eyes caught the early evening light, made them more gold than brown. Her lips were even more teasing, so close and beckoning. 

Just do it already, he heard his own inner voice. Just kiss her. The Fates knew he wanted to, but what then? Would he become her slave, would he be lost? Or what if she was bound to lose herself? What if she wanted to turn away the moment she saw what a repulsive being he truly was?

"Uh..." He pulled away, held the side of his head. "I should...probably go before I do something stupid."

"I don't want you to go. We don't have to keep reading, perhaps just sit and watch the fireflies come out?"

He breathed in, let it out slowly. "It's getting late. Kallus becomes angry when I turn up after dark."

"And since when do you care about pleasing Kallus? If you truly respected him, you wouldn't even be here. You wouldn't give me gifts or take me through the woods."

"Are you accusing me of something, Ash?" His mouth spread into a grin. "You may be an empath, but I haven't let you read my mind."

"I may not need to," she said. "I can see you want to kiss me. It's in your face, your body language."

"And what do you want?" he whispered, inching closer just to make her cheeks turn even more red than they were. 

She scoffed, rolled her eyes. "You couldn't begin to understand what I want. It's lost on you."

"Try me."

"All right then." She adjusted her pose, seeming all high and proud. "I want you to be open to me. I want to know your thoughts, your fears. Everything about you."

"Ah, then I'm sorry I have to disappoint you. My soul is off-limits."

"Of course." She rolled her eyes again, this time a bit more teasingly. "Which is why I don't dare ask. I may have your interest but I don't have your trust."

"See? We understand each other."

"No, not in the least."

Damien scratched his head, thinking better of his words. "Perhaps you're right. I don't really know what you see in me, Ash. Why you keep me around."

"I keep you around so that you don't suffer in all your loneliness," she said, but Damien smirked at the notion. 

"Oh, that's adorable. You think I'm suffering over here in this beautiful realm you've placed me in? I have everything I need."

"Then you are so blind."

"What makes you so righteous?"

"I'm just— I'm afraid for you; that one day, you'll come to regret not caring about anyone."

"Oh, I care for plenty of people," he said, leaning back on his arms. Crossing one foot over the other. But he became wary and nervous when Ashlyn moved toward him, hovered above his torso. 

"And yet..." She leaned in more, just inches from brushing her forehead against his, "you can't tolerate this."

"Alright." He jolted, moving into a sit as quickly as he could. "That's close enough, Ash."

She also moved back into a sit, snickering. "See? I just needed to make my point."

"Which is?"

"It would be nice to be closer to you, but you’re too stubborn. Scared."

He winced at the thought. "Why be closer to me? I think you’re fine right there."

"Ugh..." she sighed, dropped her head. "It's very lost on you." Defeated, Ashlyn began to stir, gathering her book and readying to her feet, but Damien stopped her with a halting gesture. 

"Wait, Ash. I— I want to understand. Why does it bother you that I have no emotions?"

The girl turned her chin up to the sky and moaned. "Do I have to say it? I feel for you, Damien. And I'm sorry if that frightens you."

"Feel for me? Like, feelings of affection?"

"I know we have our differences, that we’ve both done some hurtful and confusing things…but that hasn’t changed how I feel. I still hang on your every word, make up excuses to see you."

"Oh." It was beginning to make sense to him, this concept of mutual feeling. He had wanted to make Ashlyn like him more by giving her jewelry and spending time in her company, but perhaps he hadn't been prepared to grow affection for her in turn. Slowly, unintentionally. 

He could tell his silence was making her uncomfortable, so he fished for a reply. "I've made you feel for me?" he asked. "By giving you gifts?"

Ashlyn shook her head. "I've felt for you, Damien. Since the beginning I suppose."

Thin layers of sweat broke out on his skin, and he rubbed his forehead. Of all the questions floating through his mind in that moment, he settled for, "But why me?"

"I'm most myself when I'm near you," she said with a light smile. "With you, there's no pretense. No Sorceress, no queen...just myself."

"Wait." He gaped at her. "Did you say queen?"

"Well, no, not yet— that's not important now. What I'm saying is, I have no role to play in front of you, and it's a great comfort."

"Oh, damn." He stroked circles on his temples, felt his words scampering away. After several moments fighting for his voice, he said, "I'm so stupid! When you talked about your destiny, I thought— I don't know what I thought, but definitely not royalty."

"I'm not royal," she assured him. "I'm just in line, that's all. The Sorceress of Lorianthil always ascends to the rank of queen— but they're letting me wait until I'm ready."

"And when will you be ready?"

"I don't know." She looked down. "I want to become the Sorceress everyone needs before being their queen. So, who knows?"

He frowned. "I thought you were all-seeing, Ash."

"Like I need the Sight to determine my own future? It’s something only I can decide."

Breathing out a curse, Damien got of the rock just to put some space between the two of them. He never spoke well while being confused and hot-headed, he needed a place to cool down. He trudged upstream for a ways before finding a slanted, watery path that led him to the top of the cascading waterfall. Once he reached it, he found some solace up there. The churning roar drowned out his thoughts, lifted his anger. 

He couldn't criticize the girl for being what she was, but why wait so long to tell him? An even more frustrating question: why did he care? 

He focused on his breathing while scraping his fingers across his face and forehead. You're so stupid, he cursed at himself. You could have seen the signs sooner, they were right there! She's too good for you, she can't possibly stay for you. She never has.

Then he was drawn by Ashlyn's concerned, gentle voice. 

"Damien?" 

Turning, he saw her striding up the watery, stony path that he had followed. Ashlyn's footing slipped a little as she climbed to the top where Damien stood. He decided to face the fall rather than her. Kept his arms crossed. 

"Damien?" She came into view by stepping in front of him, blocking his open scenery. "Are you intent on ignoring me now?"

Damien sighed while rolling his eyes. "I can't ignore you, Ash. It's maddening."

Her face grew soft, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, like you can't read me?"

"No, I can't. It's been difficult to read you lately. You're shut like a book." Damien saw her glowing hand, sparks lighting the tips of her fingers. She came toward him, lifting that hand to his forehead. "If you just let me in—"

"No!" He grabbed her shoulders and shoved her away, "I will not—" But he gasped when he realized he had pushed her with too much force. Ashlyn slipped on the wet rocks at her feet and fell backward over the sheer waterfall. To Damien it was all slow-motion, the girl's body angling back, her arms lifting into the air to search for balance. She was about to pass out of sight when Damien wrenched forward and gripped her by the arm. His own feet slid to the very edge of the fall before he found his grounding, lowered his stance, and stood firm. He grunted with her weight yanking against his elbow and wrist, but he had her, dangling over the heavy tides beneath. She looked scared but not completely terrified, and when she glanced up at him, her expression became more like shock. Disbelief.

Damien felt the muscles ripping under his flesh as he pulled Ashlyn up with both hands. Her body rose against the waterfall until she hit level ground again and rested in his embrace. His chin covered the top of her wet hair, his arms wrapped around, and for the first time, he held her. Felt her flesh shivering against his. He let her stay there as long as she wanted, until she pulled away and lifted her gaze. 

Damien couldn't help brushing the wet locks of her hair aside. She was soaked. Her clothes were soiled, her white dress revealed a bit much. Apart from the wet layers he saw delicate skin that glinted with water, danced with its own light. 

"Are you hurt?" He checked for scrapes and bruises, but there were none. The only pain she seemed to be suffering was emotional, and he couldn't do much about that. "I'm sorry...I forget how strong I am. I lost control."

Ashlyn stared at him with still, doe eyes. It took several long moments before she blinked and looked down at her feet. 

"I'm sorry too," she said. "From now on, I'll respect your boundaries, Damien. I'll be as close as you decide."

"Ash..." His finger brushed under her chin, caused her to look up. “I think I understand what you want, but I can’t give it. I don’t feel as much as you.”

Her lips broke into a laughing smile. “Why do you keep saying that? Trust me, you feel plenty of emotions, Damien.”

“What if it’s not enough?” 

She placed her hands up to his shoulders, and Damien did his best to not pull away from it. 

"You are enough," she said with the utmost sincerity. "You're exactly what I want."

"But why?"

"There is no why." She giggled. "That's like asking why the sun rises, or why the tides come in and drift away. Such is nature."

When she came in and kissed him, Damien held his breath. He had never been touched by a woman before, never imagined lips being so soft against his own. She held him in place with gentle force, captivated him with steady eyes. Their kiss was so simple and yet it carried the depth of a thousand, as if all the kisses they would ever share were rolled into the first. 

When she pulled away from him, Damien wanted more, so he leaned in and sealed his mouth over hers again. He explored Ashlyn's lips, tasted sugar and honey wrapped in lavender petals. A few moments into the kiss, he heard her giggling once more. He tilted his head while lifting a brow. 

"What?"

"You," she laughed, moving her hands up to his shoulders again. "How confusing you are. First you push me, save me, then kiss me? My heart is in for an adventurous ride."

Damien wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in. It amazed him how her head rested perfectly under his chin, how her body knit into his side. 

"I wouldn't have let you fall." He looked down to meet her gaze. "You know that, right?"

"I certainly hope so."