“Jinkies”
By Kaiju Kojin

Narrator:
Fred’s ascot fluttered in the breeze as he does what Fred does best… setting up a trap. 

Fred:
“Hey girls!” [Fred is on top of a water tower and waves frantically at his friends.] “Catch the line and tie it to that tree!” 

[Daphne expertly caught the rope with one hand, not looking, and ties it to the tree Velma and her stand under]

Velma:
“Use a square not…”  [Velma adjusted her glasses. Daphne nodded and fixed her mistake. 

Velma
[muttered under her breath.] “This is getting dumb. It’s like we’re doing the same thing over and over every week… Why am I even out here? I should be studying..” 

Daphne
“What’s that Vel?” [ She corrected her knot and gave it a good yank] “You want this pirate-ghost to scare off the orphans who were going to turn the abandoned miner themed amusement park into a shelter for puppies!?” 

Velma
“I thought it was a ghost pirate…” [Velma rubbed her chin.] “A Pirate-Ghost indicates a ghost took on an after-life of piracy after he died, that would have a fascinating indication on the social aspects of post-life pirates… while a Ghost Pirate is the ghost of an actual Pirate… who died. But, we’re in Ohio… I don’t think Pirates got this far inland.”

Daphne
“What if they were part of the crew on the pirate ship ride?”

Velma
“Oh so now we’re throwing Ghost-Pirate/Actors into the mix…” [Velma continued droning on semantics when Daphne grabbed her cheeks and kissed her to shut her up.]

[While the two kisses, chaos erupts around them as they stand motionless, locked in a timeless embrace. Fred’s trap failed and caught fire, The ghost-pirates give chase, Shaggy and Scoobie’s bumblings capture their persuer]

Fred
“Now, let’s see who the culprit is!” 

[Fred unmasks the villain to reveal an old man. Shaggy, Scoobie and Fred Gasp]

Shaggy:
“Like, it’s old Man Jennings! The owner of the park!

Scooby:
“Rut rry?”

Fred:
Hrm, Not sure… Velma?

Old Man Jenkins:
“I think they’re not paying attention… and I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for… oh that’s… kinda hot.

[The make-out session continues...]

[Fred, Shaggy, and Scoobie turn to what he’s talking about to see Velma and Daphne locked together like high schoolers in the back of a van.]

Scooby:
Rats Rew...

[The two disentangled themselves Daphne caressing Velma’s cheek]

Velma
“Jinkies…” 

Daphne
“You finally found that clue I left for you...”